~*Dealing w Difficult Ppl

[budakkerek]

hey guys..just wanna know whether you got any experience dealing w difficult ppl in your life?

Share w us.

Currently, i got this roommate fr hell. She keeps on dissing me..and right now, we're not talking to each other. i dont even bother.. :x why should i when she pretends that she doesnt hear me when i speak to her?

She complaints bout everything i do, and i think she hates me, even down to the kind of music i play
*excuse me, she plays Siti songs like on repeat, i didnt even complain* :evil:

Anyway, read my blog if you wanna know the details heheh...and yeah, id like to know how you deal w these difficult ppl :D

[PeiWen]

Mmm, as for my experience...I do have a two-faced friend (J). She always be a good friend to me, but when it comes to project, she'll join in my group, when she thinks that she can actually take advantage on me. She looks sweet and innocent and all, but actually, she can act as another person in front the other. There was once, I informed her that, there was a meeting at this particular time. Then she was late for the meeting. So, I asked her, why was she late, then she said, I never informed her about the exact time for the meeting, but in fact I already reminded her the day before. So, ever since then, I've got the lesson that, whenever I want to tell her something, I'll make it clear with others presence as well, then there's no way for her to deny what I've told her. Argh...sometimes really annoying, as you have to keep alert and on guard of her. She can just act so innocent when she tries to deny the matters that she actually knew! Besides, she likes to get along with those, whom she thinks can take advantage from. I still remain as friend with her, since she didn't show animosity towards me, but just her attitude that really turns me off and annoys me!!!

[wpyeoh]

I try my best not to find trouble, but sometimes it doesn't work...

Let's see... in my life there are 3 outstanding people that I can remember being "difficult" (to me, that is) When that happens, I try to just stay out of their way and have nothing to do with them (if possible) After all, if someone is being difficult, there is hardly any reason why I would want to go and ask them out for a drink, right?

Well, maybe I can get some tips from this topic about what to do when that doesn't work. ^_^ I try to avoid confrontations; it's bad for my health. My motto: maintain the peace.

[budakkerek]

she even emailed my friend, asking her,"What's wrong w you? why are you not friends w me"
Sthing like dat..
Duh...
like she knows..but she pretends that she doesnt...sickens me man...

[naturesimple]

ye ..
so childish 1.....
something like i dun wan to friend u anymore

[Schye]

I am not sure why but girls seems to have more troubles than guys in this kind of matters. It maybe because of their sensitiveness but I think most of the time, the situation will be better after some time. I would say ask her out to a mamak stall, ask her directly what she is not satisfied with you, quarrel and give each other a few punches, then everything will go well the next day.

[budakkerek]

haha...i tried that. Honestly i did, and we did talk things over..i tried not to do what she pissed her off...but then, she didnt even try not to do what pissed me off...

And after some time, it happened again. SO i guess, there's nothing i can do. She just dont want to change, she cant live w ppl...and thing is, she doesnt just do it to me, but also to others. So i guess, it's not entirely my fault. She mmg dilahirkan that way i guess hehe...

Yep..i guess gurls hv more of these kinda porb, maybe coz we think n interpret things differently. Plus, gurls hv more prob being frank
*which made me kinda unpopular haha..coz i'm like so super frank*
we are afraid of hurting the feelings of others i guess...

gurls, what do you think?

[chenchow]

I think that when this kind of matter happens, it is more of an issue of dealing with it tactfully. I think in many cases, we should ask ourselves why he/she is doing so, and try to think on the positive aspect. Do not prejudge, but I understand that each of us has our own limit on this aspect.

Try to be diplomatic, but do think which aspect you can compromise and which aspect you can't compromise. Maybe sometimes other have some pertinent reasons why they are doing certain things.

[budakkerek]

thanks chenchow for your advice..i knowwhat you mean, and most of the time, i try to do that.
But this time, i just cant take it anymore...it's not like we havent talked things thru..i even initiated the heart to heart session *whatever u wanna call it*
And it's not like she doesnt know what pisses me off etc. i tried, not to do stuff that she doesnt like me doing..but i guess, she's just not doing her part. And i guess, i'm past caring bout her....

It hurts, when i think tha one time, she n me, used to be good friends..we can joke etc..but now...i dont even know what to say to her...even a simple "morning" fr me get a cold stare fr her..so i guess, it's just that..
she just doesnt care..

[pandaboy]

Hmm...I think everyone will meet different kinds of difficult people all the time. For me, I dont have such a friend, but I have friends like what PeiWen described. But I've learnt that we can never fully trust anyone nowadays, not even someone that you know since young. Everyone is self-centered in nature.

[PeiWen]

True pandaboy. I think what I've discussed with my 6th Aunty (a caunselor) really apply. Humans are selfish in nature. Who will love you more except yourself? Of course, we will always have ourselves in center. Hardly in this world could you find someone who is so generous, kind-hearted, always think of others' welfare first. Definitely there are this kind of people exist, but..already rare species....I guess... :wink:

[pandaboy]

True pandaboy. I think what I've discussed with my 6th Aunty (a caunselor) really apply. Humans are selfish in nature. Who will love you more except yourself? Of course, we will always have ourselves in center. Hardly in this world could you find someone who is so generous, kind-hearted, always think of others' welfare first. Definitely there are this kind of people exist, but..already rare species....I guess... :wink:

Yeah, this kind of person do exists....that is...so-called NAIVE people... Lol...

Who love you more other than yourself? Your parents! Don't forget that....They love me more than they love themselves.... :cry:

[ElansarGelmir]

there's no other i would love to kill right now than my Chemistry lab partner (oops... i'm just joking... if he's found dead at any time after this message is posted, it's not me!!!)

the most bitter pill to swallow
the one that makes me cry after each lab session
the one who will one day drive me to resort to suicidal attempts

wow, he's influential
he's scary
and he's an @<hidden>$$

and Alleluiah (I heard Handel's Messiah)
i am changing my lab for next semester. let's pray that he won't follow me to my new lab...

[pandaboy]

there's no other i would love to kill right now than my Chemistry lab partner (oops... i'm just joking... if he's found dead at any time after this message is posted, it's not me!!!)

the most bitter pill to swallow
the one that makes me cry after each lab session
the one who will one day drive me to resort to suicidal attempts

wow, he's influential
he's scary
and he's an @<hidden>$$

and Alleluiah (I heard Handel's Messiah)
i am changing my lab for next semester. let's pray that he won't follow me to my new lab...

Lol...you have the same problem as me! The worse is...this guy from China ( really cant stand him) took the exact subjects as me...have to partner him in Physiology and Biochem at first (luckily managed to avoid him in Biochem practical, but I ended up with another @<hidden>@<hidden>@<hidden>@<hidden>@<hidden> guy as well :( , still with him in Physiology practical though) . Well, for Chemistry, we have to do all our experiements on our own... :(

[ElansarGelmir]

It's a shared lab work... and I have to do 90% of the work, and he 10%. and in the 10%, he always screws up 7% of it.

Once, we have to dry our test tubes (it's darn hard to dry them... took me 3 minutes to clean and dry it), and he wants to collect 0.38 g of some liquid. I let him do that. And instead of taring the test tube first before adding the liquid, he tares the weighing scale after adding the liquid into the test tube!!!!! Muffah! And every lab session without fail, we are the last pair to finish the lab.

THere's once i had an appendectomy and I had to miss my lab, and he has to partner up with another girl. And i heard that the girl cried.

[budakkerek]

maybe you should start putting dead frogs in his shoes, and chewing gums on his lab stool hahah

well, thank God i'm at home, no annoying ppl.

though my bros are constantly making me go crazie, w their hogging the PC etc, but still, they're just kids *well, not really, the youngest is 9 and the eldest amng em is 16*

Oh ya
got this one fella, used to be good friends as in we used to go out once a fortnight for dinner. He's fun, intellectual, intelligent, etc. he's kinda sarcastic but i was fine w dat. until one day, he tetiba was mad at me, coz he said i was too ignorant to my mistakes that i pissed him off. Until today, i dont know what i did wrong, only have a vague idea of it. He sent me an SMS the other day, saying "you are a nobody to me, and vie versa. So just be gone, disapear."

Vicious huh? 8O

[pandaboy]

It's a shared lab work... and I have to do 90% of the work, and he 10%. and in the 10%, he always screws up 7% of it.

Once, we have to dry our test tubes (it's darn hard to dry them... took me 3 minutes to clean and dry it), and he wants to collect 0.38 g of some liquid. I let him do that. And instead of taring the test tube first before adding the liquid, he tares the weighing scale after adding the liquid into the test tube!!!!! Muffah! And every lab session without fail, we are the last pair to finish the lab.

THere's once i had an appendectomy and I had to miss my lab, and he has to partner up with another girl. And i heard that the girl cried.

Wow..he did it on purpose or he really doesnt know how to do it properly? If he's the latter, how did he managed to get into a good uni (urs a good uni elansar i assume)?

The china guy for my case is even keng...he's not dumb, in fact darn smart. Too smart until he can use his handphone clock (without seconds time) as stop watch, he can read the measurements on measuring cylinder by holding it up (not putting it on a flat table).... Talking about being an accurate scientist! He'll definitely put everyone's life at risk if he is a scientist one day!

[budakkerek]

pandaboy, what did he do?

[pandaboy]

pandaboy, what did he do?

What did he do what? I thought I mentioned in the previous post already? Or you're asking something else? :roll:

[ElansarGelmir]

It's a shared lab work... and I have to do 90% of the work, and he 10%. and in the 10%, he always screws up 7% of it.

Once, we have to dry our test tubes (it's darn hard to dry them... took me 3 minutes to clean and dry it), and he wants to collect 0.38 g of some liquid. I let him do that. And instead of taring the test tube first before adding the liquid, he tares the weighing scale after adding the liquid into the test tube!!!!! Muffah! And every lab session without fail, we are the last pair to finish the lab.

THere's once i had an appendectomy and I had to miss my lab, and he has to partner up with another girl. And i heard that the girl cried.

Wow..he did it on purpose or he really doesnt know how to do it properly? If he's the latter, how did he managed to get into a good uni (urs a good uni elansar i assume)?

The china guy for my case is even keng...he's not dumb, in fact darn smart. Too smart until he can use his handphone clock (without seconds time) as stop watch, he can read the measurements on measuring cylinder by holding it up (not putting it on a flat table).... Talking about being an accurate scientist! He'll definitely put everyone's life at risk if he is a scientist one day!

My uni is good... but US uni select students differently from the way UK unis do.

[pandaboy]

Er...meaning is he doing it on purpose or he really doesnt know how to do it properly? :? Maybe he's just being nasty?

[kookyshwaty]

ooh now here is one place everyone can spill their resentment in. well bitches and freaks, diss him straight at their faces and act as an angel when they do the same, who is the big bully now? him!

[Xon]

Hmm,dealing with deficult people.... the best solution is to communicate one on one.

but if you cant negotiate further with him/her,flames him/her until he/she dislikes you or your environment. and *tada*,no more annoying people around. AHAHAHA. make them leave you or you leave them. Xp *leaving a situation doesnt mean you lose or running out of responsibilities*

[pinkcat]

I have this ex-classmate, who is a girl, who is like super nasty. She loves competing and i believe that she can't live without competition. Healthy competition is fine but hers is like over the boundaries. Let me list out the things that she has tried to compete with me.

- Skin fairness(She always put her arm beside me to see who is fairer at the moment, if it's her she will be like super happy for the whole day)
- Looks
- Body figure
- Results of course!!!!!!!!!!!
- Boyfriend
- Material wise
- Everything literally

She's such a irritating b*tch but she can be really nice sometimes. I don't know why i'm still friends with her.

I just went out with her and guess what she was like mocking me with sarcastic statements throughout the whole meeting. Let me give u a peek into my pathetic conversation with her

Me : Yeah, i was here in (my hometown) for a week.
Her: So, u only stayed at home but never went out at all?
Me : i did with XX once
Her: I see, so she went out with u lah...it's because i didn't want to go out with her.
Me : *feel like pulling all her hair out* I see, haha
Her: Wah, u can stay at home and seperate urself from the world 1 hor...haha(very sarcastically mind you)
Me : haha, yeah...*vows never ever to go out with her for meetings like this anymore*

What's wrong with not going out the whole week, or even month if i want when i'm back in my hometown from college? Huh? i was like super insulted when i heard her talk like that. Yes, i admit that i'm not a very outgoing person and i love private moments with myself and the people i love, u have a problem with that?

I would have treated her as a true friend if she didn't have this personality. But now, i'll always be fake in front of her because i know that she can't be trusted and she is NASTY!

I feel better now.

[kintaro_kun]

girls....bah!

[lindley]

lol the best thing you could do is try to ignore her?
but really, if i were in your shoes, i'd tell her off LOL

[Xon]

lol the best thing you could do is try to ignore her?
but really, if i were in your shoes, i'd tell her off LOL

i once ago got friend like pinkcat,but then,my solution is to further myself away from him. Xp. and straight-forward told him that "hey dont you know that you're annoying,do you?"

[lindley]

lol omgosh then what did he say/do?!

[vseehua]

Tell her off and then give her THE silent treatment to show that you are serious

[minic00per]

if u have 2 faced fren...act lyke u dont care....they'll get tired n leave u alone...at least dats work 4 me....

[forEVA]

ah... this is soooo interesting. (;

u can try reverse psychology! everytime she says something nasty, u say something nasty back at her! no i'm not asking u to stoop to her level but sometimes u ought to show people like her that just because u dont want to act nasty means u canT be nasty as well! oh no, u havent seen the worst of me, bitch.

so the next time she thinks that she's fairer than u, tell her that she ought to get some tan 'cos she looks so freakin' pale she sure can pull off a great zombie act in halloween parties even withOUT the make up.

just dont forget to stop as soon as she stops being her stinkin' self 'cos u dont wanna get too carried away by having too much fun being evil. :p

at least that's what i usually do when bitches like her get on my last nerve. :p

[Al-Bert]

I think that when this kind of matter happens, it is more of an issue of dealing with it tactfully. I think in many cases, we should ask ourselves why he/she is doing so, and try to think on the positive aspect. Do not prejudge, but I understand that each of us has our own limit on this aspect.

Try to be diplomatic, but do think which aspect you can compromise and which aspect you can't compromise. Maybe sometimes other have some pertinent reasons why they are doing certain things.

In my opinion, Chen Chow's suggestion would be the most appropriate way in dealing with difficult person...

Try to enhance the relationship and discover the bright side of this "difficult" person instead of making him/her your new enemy...

If you couldn't do it, then perhaps your socializing skill is too lousy.. LOL!

[forEVA]

sometimes u cant be too diplomatic with people like this. they wont stop unless u say something. being harsh back doesnt always mean u'll make a new enemy. i've met a dozen of people like this n as soon as u tell them off, they'll stop doing it n some will be even nicer to u. weird bunch indeed.

just remember what ever u say or do, dont snap. they get the thrill out of it. n being mean back to those people is only as a last resort.