Oh no. it's so "duh"

[jacyn]

Njoy :lol:

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
Location: United States, California, San Francisco


If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until he other has passed.
Location: United States, Kansas


One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
Location: United States, Illinois, Champaign


Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Location: United States, Florida


It is considered an offense to shower naked.
Location: United States, Florida


Pull
Birmingham, England
A local man stormed into a local bank demanding all the cash tellers had on hand. When security windows began to go up as he reached over the counter, the criminal decided he had better make a run for it. For nearly ten minutes he tried to escape through the door from whence he came, however it simply would not budge. Figuring that the doors had been automatically locked, the man resigned himself to being arrested. As police escorted him from the bank, he noticed on the door in bright red letters the word PULL.


well, you may think it's dumb, but it really exists.
find out more at www.dumblaws.com

[Slasherbaven]

From the site above, I got you guys one of the Singapore laws, and MAN, aren't they fanatic about keeping their freakin' country clean!?!
No offence, a'rite?


If you are convicted of littering three times, you will have to clean the streets on Sundays with a bib on saying, "I am a litterer." This will then be broadcasted on the local news.

---Singapore---
________
marijuana joint (http://howtorollajoint.net)

[jacyn]

:lol: Disorder in the Court 8O


These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.




ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?


WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


______________________________





ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?


WITNESS: July 18th.



ATTORNEY: What year?


WITNESS: Every year.


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?


WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


______________________________________






ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?


WITNESS: Yes.


ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?


WITNESS: I forget.


ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you


forgot?


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?


WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.


ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?


WITNESS: Forty-five years.


_____________________________________






ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that


morning?


WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"


ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?



WITNESS: My name is Susan.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?


WITNESS: We both do.



ATTORNEY: Voodoo?


WITNESS: We do.



ATTORNEY: You do?


WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his


sleep,


he doesn't know about it until the next morning?


WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


___________________________________





ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?


WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.



________________________________________





ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?


WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?


______________________________________






ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


WITNESS: Yes.


ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?


WITNESS: Uh...


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?


WITNESS: Yes.



ATTORNEY: How many were boys?


WITNESS: None.


ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?


WITNESS: By death.



ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?


WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.


ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition


notice which I sent to your attorney?



WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead


people?


WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


______________________________________






ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go


to?


WITNESS: Oral.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?


WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.


ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?


WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an


autopsy on him!


___________________________________






ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


WITNESS: Huh?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a


pulse?


WITNESS: No


ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you


began


the autopsy?


WITNESS: No.



ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?


WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.


ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?


WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and


practicing


law.



:twisted: :twisted: :evil: :roll: :lol: