do u agree v pre-marital sex?

[yian04]

“ SEX & THE 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL” printed in pink font color, a favourite color for teen girls. It has attracted me, especially its surprising informations. 1/4 girls have had sexual intercourse before. 2/3 of teen guys didn’t have habits of using condoms before their intercourse. Averagely, most gals have 3 sex partners, there are 1/3 girls who actually dislike their partners. I was extremely stunned reading this statistic. Buried myself in following contents, I just realized that it’s a survey aiming to 2000 british 14-year-old girls. Lots of us always reckon that girls from western countries are more open and less conservative about their sex lives. But it’s a contrary fact as they’re actually still being conservative in their beliefs. Among them, 94% dream of having a marriage before 25, while 89% oppose pre-marital sex and have babies before their marriage. There are 44% girls think that abortion is a crime and shouldn’t be performed by anyone. Will this survey give u a new perception upon british girls?

There is a question lingering in our mind always, keep wondering, if they have those conservative thinkings, why do they lose their virginity in such a green young age? They confessed that it’s a shame to be a virgin in their adolescense and will be teased by their mates. Some wanna prevent their boys from chucking them and some blamed for the alcohol affects to them. Without any preparation for safe sex, they will opt to consume morning-after pill to avoid any repercussion, like pregnancy. Wanna play? Play safely! It’s a task to curb such thing happen, that’s why early sex education should be instilled in teens’minds. No one can deny that we do have curiousity about sex, but restricted by regulations and beliefs set by our ancestors earlier, we presume that sex is a shameful and dirty matters to talk about, especially us. Having a sex actually is a sacred and holy act gifted by God in order to produce more and more excellent generations. I didn’t mean that you can have sex with anyone you like, misusing the rights to do that, do respect others. Girls, protect urself and learn to say “no” if u get unreasonable demands. Don’t simply give ur precious virginity to any guy, at least u think he worth it. One more thing, do u guys agree v pre-marital sex?

[pandaboy]

I personally don't agree with pre-marital sex, but nowadays, people dont see marriages as something important.....or perhaps not as important as how we used to see it last time. This is especially true for the westerners, I believe....I don't really know why, perhaps they don't like being tied up in marriage rope?

Why 14 year-old kids lost their virginity? Hmm..I think it's because of their curiosity.... But premarital sex is very common here...(I think it's even more common in the States....right?).

What is sex and virginity to everyone? I think, the trend now is sex=love (and vice versa)... so that's why virginity is not of any importance these days...

[PJKru]

Did you hear about the story of a beautiful venuzeulan who offered to give her virginity to the highest bidder? a canadian offered 1.5 million dollars for it but she turned it down. Now shes given up on the idea.

[pandaboy]

Did you hear about the story of a beautiful venuzeulan who offered to give her virginity to the highest bidder? a canadian offered 1.5 million dollars for it but she turned it down. Now shes given up on the idea.

I've read about that. I thought she was a Peruvian? Here's the article:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4482913.stm

[masdie]

Did you hear about the story of a beautiful venuzeulan who offered to give her virginity to the highest bidder? a canadian offered 1.5 million dollars for it but she turned it down. Now shes given up on the idea.

wow, she's worth 1.5 mil dollars huh. erm...anyone willing to buy my virginity fir that price or maybe more?

[yian04]

" If u love,u have to give me." I think this is a common remark used by guys who attempt to get a girl to their beds. No doubt that nowadays teens have a open perception about sex, even have sex before during their very young age. I totally agree with pandaboy, love=sex, that is what teens today think about it. If there is a love happens between us, u have to give me ur virginity to prove that u love me. Don't u think it's hilarious and kinda absurb. If u really love someone, what u have to do is respect, love is something about spirits and minds compatibility, not just for physical or sexual enjoyments. Hmmm...have a question crossing my mind now, girls, will u give ur virginity to someone u think u really in love with him, but maybe u don't sure he's ur future husband? Well, as I have seen, lots of gals fail to marry v her very beloved one, ending with marrying another guys. But, guys, u really surprise me, i thought guys will agree with pre-marital sex since girls always be the one who have to afford all the repercussions.

[Salvation]

Times have changed, I do believe that the liberation of sexual attitute in Malaysia is quite serious(among teens). I personally is against this.

[Salvation]

I observed personally that this kind of attitude are largely influenced by Western movies and dramas (or even HK ones) where sex is casual.

[Vigilante]

As long as you practice consensual and safe sex, I don't see anything wrong with pre-marital sex.

What is virginity? What is so important about it? It was an old taboo to ensure that the husband of the woman is the real father of the child. It also serves to boost the ego of men who wants to be the first to enter a girl's vagina.

If I meet a 14-year-old girl who lost her virginity, I wouldn't look bad at her in anyway - other than reminding her to practice safe sex.

If you're a guy and the virginity of your future wife is a great importance to you, then by all means find someone who is still a virgin. But then why would you impose your morality on others? Don't go around saying bad things about certain people who practice casual sex.

[Salvation]

As long as you practice consensual and safe sex, I don't see anything wrong with pre-marital sex.

What is virginity? What is so important about it? It was an old taboo to ensure that the husband of the woman is the real father of the child. It also serves to boost the ego of men who wants to be the first to enter a girl's vagina.

If I meet a 14-year-old girl who lost her virginity, I wouldn't look bad at her in anyway - other than reminding her to practice safe sex.

If you're a guy and the virginity of your future wife is a great importance to you, then by all means find someone who is still a virgin. But then why would you impose your morality on others? Don't go around saying bad things about certain people who practice casual sex.

Haha..typical casual sex advocate :lol:

[pangping1510]

anything that wil b wil b :lol:

[Thirdshifter]

why not.. 'im into gang bangs.... :twisted:

[cra]

what's wrong with that? look around, everyone is having more sex than us!

watch this flash clip (http://xthost.info/arc/misc/moresexthanme.swf)

[pandaboy]

What is sex in your perspective? Something you do to show your love? Something you do to satisfy your desire? Or something you do to reproduce?

[PiK]

well relationships nowadays is solely based on sex

hey if u don't exercise on a regular basis

sex is a great substitute!

[pandaboy]

well relationships nowadays is solely based on sex

hey if u don't exercise on a regular basis

sex is a great substitute!

So from your point of view, sex is a substitute for exercise? 8O

[yian04]

well relationships nowadays is solely based on sex

hey if u don't exercise on a regular basis

sex is a great substitute!

So from your point of view, sex is a substitute for exercise? 8O


huh? that means pre-marital sex is a practice for ya to perform a great sex that can boost up orgasms and satisfy ur partner's sex desire. Chasing after a gal, asking her to be ur gf, isn't it an attemp to slip into girls' pants? Have u thought of girls' feelings? Undoubtedly, sex is something gifted by God to produce our generations. But before u intend to have sex with a girl, use ur brain to think first, be responsible for what u have done.

[ElansarGelmir]

well relationships nowadays is solely based on sex

hey if u don't exercise on a regular basis

sex is a great substitute!

So from your point of view, sex is a substitute for exercise? 8O


huh? that means pre-marital sex is a practice for ya to perform a great sex that can boost up orgasms and satisfy ur partner's sex desire. Chasing after a gal, asking her to be ur gf, isn't it an attemp to slip into girls' pants? Have u thought of girls' feelings? Undoubtedly, sex is something gifted by God to produce our generations. But before u intend to have sex with a girl, use ur brain to think first, be responsible for what u have done.

I wish my roommate's girlfriend shares the same kind of opinion as you do

Cannot tahan... Kena sex out 3 times a week!!!

[lolilo]

eeww....

[ElansarGelmir]

eeww....

Huh?

[lolilo]

eeww....

Huh?

eww you la. haha.

premarital sex is a personal choice. period.

Berani Buat, Berani Tanggung.

[ElansarGelmir]

eeww....

Huh?

eww you la. haha.

premarital sex is a personal choice. period.

Berani Buat, Berani Tanggung.

tak faham... why i kena eww pulak?
Btw, to clarify: Sex Out = kena halau keluar while roommate is having sex

[lolilo]

aiyer, i know la, gelmir.do you have to be so explicit ?
bye, i am outta here, sorry for the spams.

[littlebigone]

well relationships nowadays is solely based on sex

hey if u don't exercise on a regular basis

sex is a great substitute!

I take extreme offense with this post. I mean, how can you say tha relationship nowadays is solely based on sex??!?!?

I have sex with or without a relationship :P

Oh, btw I've never used the term "sex out" but i've been "sexiled" many times.

[masdie]

I have sex with or without a relationship :P

people......i think you all are making fun of this thread.....i don't want to believe that you people are that sort of people. please.

[Steppe]

I do not agree. I may sound orthodox... but let me share the advice, probing questions given to me by parents, pastors, in Christian camps, etc. over the growing years:

- religion - Christianity in this case
This does not conform to what the bible says. It is a sin to do so and if one still goes ahead to do so by not obeying God's word, one does not expect God's blessings. Following God's plan, obeying God's word and getting God's blessings is very important and that is why a true Christian couple 's marriage will last.
I am a Christian and have witnessed/seen/observed many loving couples in church. I suppose this is the 'bond' which is missing in those marriages which ended up in divorce. I am convinced by these living examples.

- self respect, self esteem and dignity
What is the 'insurance' given by the boy here? What happens if the boy dumps the girl? What happens if the boy is not serious in the relationship but in sex? Won't the girl feel that she is being used, cheated, cheap, a personal 'prostitute' in a sense? One can never be sure of the boy and the relationship, not until the boy is serious in marrying the girl and the wedding takes place.
This has to do with how the girl is being brought up. Not all girls can take it easily if they are dumped.

- true love
If the boy is truly in love with the girl, he should respect the girl. After all, if the boy is serious in the girl, she is going to be his wife. In this aspect, the boy will value the relationship more. This is different from "playing hard to get". It is perhaps the girl's strict upbringing or Christian family background. Besides, true love will withstand the test of time.

- rational thinking
There is this advice given "think with your head and heart rationally and not with the pants off". The reasoning is that if sex is involved, one cannot think rationally any more especially to a girl. The girl may feel that she has too much to lose and may cling to the boy. Whether the two of them are compatible or not, they are too engrossed in bodily excitement that they may overlook their shortcomings, weakness and incompatibilities. If they do get married, these problems may become so great later that the marriage may not last.
On the contrary, if rational thinking is being done clearly, the boy and the girl enter into the relationship with open mind and eyes, aware of the shortcomings and weaknesses, perhaps complementing each other, prepared to face the future together etc.

Well... this may sound too good and theoretical but I think it does make a lot of sense.

[Salvation]

Btw, to clarify: Sex Out = kena halau keluar while roommate is having sex

eh, kesiannya. :lol:

[yian04]

Btw, to clarify: Sex Out = kena halau keluar while roommate is having sex

eh, kesiannya. :lol:


really? sex out,hmmm....a new word created,hahahah...anyway,u can insist on staying in the room if u want, that's ur rights,lolz...berani buat,berani tangggung, yup, i totally agree v it, don't just put enjoyment as ur first, ponder the consequences that might be happened.

[theT]

i believe in pre-marital sex since I don't believe in Marriage.

but the person should know the consequences prior to having sex, and be responsible for it, both men and women.

[PiK]

woah woah woah woah hold up

back up there

ok
first!

i AM NOT DOING ANY OF THAT SH*T! f*ck i haven't gotten laid in a few months now that i think of it. hows that for you?

second.

where i currently reside, thats how life goes by. (i don't know the general age in recom.org but i'm constantly around ppl who are 19-21+) ppl around me have constant sex to keep their relationships alive. and the thing about exercise, it just said it to have a diff pov from everyone else (because its a proven fact). i have an open mind about sex..but
learn to f*cking read properly before accusing sh*t to ppl.

thank you.

:lol: 8O :P :D

[pandaboy]

woah woah woah woah hold up

back up there

ok
first!

i AM NOT DOING ANY OF THAT SH*T! f*ck i haven't gotten laid in a few months now that i think of it. hows that for you?

second.

where i currently reside, thats how life goes by. (i don't know the general age in recom.org but i'm constantly around ppl who are 19-21+) ppl around me have constant sex to keep their relationships alive. and the thing about exercise, it just said it to have a diff pov from everyone else (because its a proven fact). i have an open mind about sex..but
learn to f*cking read properly before accusing sh*t to ppl.

thank you.

:lol: 8O :P :D

Cool man...mind ur language. I never accused u of doing that....I'm just asking whether that's the definition of sex in ur point of view.

For your information, people around me now are also having constant casual sex. So it's just a matter of self-discipline. Why do we have to follow the flow?

[wendy]

What is sex in your perspective? Something you do to show your love? Something you do to satisfy your desire? Or something you do to reproduce?

It is a disgusting procedure. :wink: haha.....seriously....wonder y ppl act enjoy it! yucks. 8O

[ElansarGelmir]

Why do you act that you are disgusted by it? :lol: Just kidding!

Hey, what PIK says is true... Casual sex is all around, especially in the more "liberal states" in the USA. I don't think it's a bad/disgusting thing... It's just the way I was brought up to condemn it, makes me feel uncomfortable when the sex issue is brought up.

And from this thread, I am surprised to find out about some Recommers (i am not disgusted, just never guessed that you guys have *clear throat* that fast).

And yeah, we use sexiled too. But I use sex out, because there are times when I am "sex in". Long story. Just PM me if you want to know more... Hahaha

[littlebigone]

sex != making love.

Learnt that the hard way.

Anyways, just to give my two cents and not put up another spam post.

I personally agree with pre-marital sex if and only if the people involved know what they're doing and want to. so no rape business. no putting roofies in the girls drink. sex is a responsibility and is not to be taken lightly.

some people will say that sex (making love) is supposed to be special, with someone that you love and you should only do it after you get married. Save yourself for your husband/wife.

I agree on the part that it should be special with the one that you love. but i feel that not being a virgin is not going to make sex any less meaningful.

[StupidCupid]

I personally think that have sex before marriage is not a sin or anything.
For me, sex is just like holding hands!!!
Why just because it's more intimate and people tends to think that it's dirty, disgusting??
When you are in love with someone, getting intimate is just a normal part...
Why is it holy when you are married, but dirty before marriage???
As long as you know what you are doing and know your responsible, you can do whatever you want.
You don't force you partner, you both willing to do so, then go ahead.
Why care what the others say??
I mean it's your life, not theirs!!!

And for those who think having sex is a sin, disgusting or whatever it is, think how you were "made".

[wendy]

Why do you act that you are disgusted by it? :lol: Just kidding!



i'm not saying that pre-marital sex is disgusting. but sex itself (the procedure) in general is disgusting. maybe u can call me immature but i'm against pre-marital sex. The consequences of it is jz 2 hard to bear. Taking preventive measures has no gurantee at all.at the end.....the women hav 2 suffer,having to go through abortion,or having to bear the stares n mockery from their relative n the society in general 4 bein an unwed-mother.N what do the guys have 2 worry about? None.They r not the ones bein pregnant!

[taufiq]

I'd say most parents are against it.

[ElansarGelmir]

Why do you act that you are disgusted by it? :lol: Just kidding!



i'm not saying that pre-marital sex is disgusting. but sex itself (the procedure) in general is disgusting. maybe u can call me immature but i'm against pre-marital sex. The consequences of it is jz 2 hard to bear. Taking preventive measures has no gurantee at all.at the end.....the women hav 2 suffer,having to go through abortion,or having to bear the stares n mockery from their relative n the society in general 4 bein an unwed-mother.N what do the guys have 2 worry about? None.They r not the ones bein pregnant!


Err... OK... I know sex disgusts you, and I see why you are so paranoid about pre-marital sex (it's good that you are aware of the consequences and your rights), but somehow I think the cases that you brought up are a little too extreme...

Well, although I have nothing against pre-marital sex, that doesn't I will do it. It's not right to me, but I keep my judgement to myself...

[StupidCupid]

The consequences of it is jz 2 hard to bear. Taking preventive measures has no gurantee at all.

that is why i said As long as you know what you are doing and know your responsible, you can do whatever you want.
You don't force you partner, you both willing to do so, then go ahead.


having to bear the stares n mockery from their relative n the society in general 4 bein an unwed-mother.

and this is where Why care what the others say??
I mean it's your life, not theirs!!!


I'd say most parents are against it.
This is very true...

[budakkerek]

When you are in love with someone, getting intimate is just a normal part...
Why is it holy when you are married, but dirty before marriage???

And for those who think having sex is a sin, disgusting or whatever it is, think how you were "made".

StupidCupid, i juz wanna ask u one question:
Would you choose to be born in or out of wedlock?

[Steppe]

wendy wrote:
having to bear the stares n mockery from their relative n the society in general 4 bein an unwed-mother.

and this is where StupidCupid Quote:
Why care what the others say??
I mean it's your life, not theirs!!!

I would think that this is quite an irresponsible and selfish type of thinking of the guy if he is the one getting the girl into trouble. This is obviously not love but fooling around?..... The boy needs to feel responsible by getting the girl into trouble. It is easy for the guy to say that because he is not the one suffering from this. The girl is the one suffering the consequences, regrets etc. etc., the loser.

Budakkerek, you have got a very good fundamental question there.

I came across this article today in STAR. Please read on.

http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/5/8/features/10733239&sec=features

[pangping1510]

ok..related to this pre marriage sex question, do u mind if ur to-be husbad/wife is not virgin? cuz if one practices pre marriage sex, that is out of question liao...

[Salvation]

ok..related to this pre marriage sex question, do u mind if ur to-be husbad/wife is not virgin? cuz if one practices pre marriage sex, that is out of question liao...

ermm...Don't ask don't know? Same as US military policy on sexual orientation during the Clinton adminstration. Seriously, I will ask if I am sure the gal is a "good" 1, if I am not sure, I won't ask. :lol:

[cra]

once u've tried it, you'll love it

or maybe

once u've started, u cant stop

[budakkerek]

Steppe, i read the article n i definitely agree with the answer. that situation is not uncommon to us, even in our konon konon still intact Msian culture.

I asked that question to StupidCupid bcoz i think he/she did not think past the concept of pre-marital sex. more often than not, the girl will feel the regret of having rushed into it and such pressure, can cause th couple to break up. Be it casual or sthing done out of love (or pressure?), it will still make the gurl feel guilty somehow.

i do not disagree with sex. in fact i view of it as sthing special that u share btw 2 ppl in love. I am concerned however, when sex is practised btw 2 unmarried ppl. it has several consequences.

1. a child might be conceived out of it. causing more prob to the gurl than the guy. She might be disown by her fmly, called slut etc. the child will be called "anak haram" etc. she'll be shunned by society and so on. As for the guy, normally he wont be responsible, as he view the sex they hv had, as being 'just sex'. in other words, "lepas tangan". And in our msian culture, a marriage that takes place to 'cover up' for this, is still deemed as unacceptable. The couple will still be shunned by the society, for'conceiving 'before marriage'. In other words, although the right steps might be taken (marriage to bring the attention away fr the fact that the gurl is pregnant), it wont stop the society fr judging those involved.

2. after the sex, the guy might find the gurl too cheap for agreeing to hv sex w him. then will look for reasons to leave her.

3. the gurl will feel guilty, regret etc, causing strain in the rship, which might bring to break up

4. the gurl or guy might not feel the same as he/she did in the first stage of the rship, but is unable to leave his/her partner due to him/her being "the first one".

5. might cause emotional strain to the gurl, and sex might become n addiction.

6.Multiple partner, more chances of getting STD.

7. u nvr know how true your partner will be. pre-marital sex is insecure.

As i said before, sex is more than just sex. Marriage brings security, which is why sex is sanctioned as okay by the society n God when it is done by a married couple. Sex in a marriage protects both the mother and the child, even if the father divorces the mother, the child will still be his responsibility. BUT, without marriage, there's no guarantee that the father will be responsible for the child he helps create, and for the gurl he has used to satisfy his lust.

without marriage we will all be like animals, screwing any female we see as fit, leaving evidences of our 'adventures' everywhere.

and again, i'm asking this question:
"would you rather be born in, or out of wedlock?"

[YunShyuan]

I agree with vigilante's points.

Parents will definitely go against it. No doubt about it. Even religion restricts it.

But I am a realistic person.

In reality, you cannot expect everyone to abstain from sex purely because of religious or family values. I am not saying they are not important. Then again, there are many influencing factors out there.

There are people who have a strong character. There are people who depend on love to be happy. It is not uncommon to find pre-marital sex among youths these days. Well, having sex as young as 12-16 is definitely not encouraged because it usually stems from bad judgement and planning.

As long as you know what you are doing, and practise it safely... it is enough. This is a crucial point.

Now, the question is how pre-marital sex is practised. Some people sleep around casually. Some people just do it out of love, even if they have not tie the knot.

Pre-marital sex is an individual choice. I believe everything happens for a reason. If it is safe, no unwanted pregnancies...no STD's ..no AIDS....then it should be okay.

People have different views on virginity. If my husband wants me to be a virgin...too bad for him. There are many others out there who can love me as I am!.That is such a disgusting principle a man can hold.

I am saying this because virginity should not be the base of a happy or successful marriage. This applies to the concept of love/true love too. Love can bring two people together....it is the foundation of a happy marriage...but it is not enough to keep it together. So these two factors should not be the sole reasons for an unsuccesful future.

A bonus - sex is actually a healthy exercise ;)

[wendy]

Steppe, i read the article n i definitely agree with the answer. that situation is not uncommon to us, even in our konon konon still intact Msian culture.

I asked that question to StupidCupid bcoz i think he/she did not think past the concept of pre-marital sex. more often than not, the girl will feel the regret of having rushed into it and such pressure, can cause th couple to break up. Be it casual or sthing done out of love (or pressure?), it will still make the gurl feel guilty somehow.

i do not disagree with sex. in fact i view of it as sthing special that u share btw 2 ppl in love. I am concerned however, when sex is practised btw 2 unmarried ppl. it has several consequences.

1. a child might be conceived out of it. causing more prob to the
gurl than the guy. She might be disown by her fmly, called slut etc. the child will be called "anak haram" etc. she'll be shunned by society and so on. As for the guy, normally he wont be responsible, as he view the sex they hv had, as being 'just sex'. in other words, "lepas tangan". And in our msian culture, a marriage that takes place to 'cover up' for this, is still deemed as unacceptable. The couple will still be shunned by the society, for'conceiving 'before marriage'. In other words, although the right steps might be taken (marriage to bring the attention away fr the fact that the gurl is pregnant), it wont stop the society fr judging those involved.

2. after the sex, the guy might find the gurl too cheap for agreeing to hv sex w him. then will look for reasons to leave her.

3. the gurl will feel guilty, regret etc, causing strain in the rship, which might bring to break up

4. the gurl or guy might not feel the same as he/she did in the first stage of the rship, but is unable to leave his/her partner due to him/her being "the first one".

5. might cause emotional strain to the gurl, and sex might become n addiction.

6.Multiple partner, more chances of getting STD.

7. u nvr know how true your partner will be. pre-marital sex is insecure.

As i said before, sex is more than just sex. Marriage brings security, which is why sex is sanctioned as okay by the society n God when it is done by a married couple. Sex in a marriage protects both the mother and the child, even if the father divorces the mother, the child will still be his responsibility. BUT, without marriage, there's no guarantee that the father will be responsible for the child he helps create, and for the gurl he has used to satisfy his lust.

without marriage we will all be like animals, screwing any female we see as fit, leaving evidences of our 'adventures' everywhere.



couldn't have agree more!

[wendy]

A bonus - sex is actually a healthy exercise ;)

It's healthy 4 married couple.but unhealthy ,
(physically,mentally,and emotionally) 4 unmarried couple.It promote the spread of AIDS, STD. It could literally endanger a person future.example:

1. If de gurl is pregnant n the guy is responsible. i'm talkin bout (uni/coll/sch) students. the gurl might be kick out from the instituition. the guy might decide to give up his studies,find a job n earn some money.

2. shot-gun marriage is not a norm in our society. so, they'll be shun away. Their family might disown them.

3. if the guy decide not to take up the responsibilities.there'll b 2 outcome. either the gurl decide 2 abort or 2 keep it. the gurl might abort without her parents knowing it, she'll feel guilty 4eva 4 murderin an innocent life.
If the gurl decide 2 keep the baby n she is the responsible type, she would bring the kid up as a single mom n the chances of her finding a husband is preety slim. However, if the gurl is irresponsible, she might jz chuck her baby into rubbish dump or kill the baby after birth.This sort of incidence occur very often!

4. If ppl get addicted into sex. they'll do it oftenly n randomly. N this is how STD is spread. well....this will effect their health. They'll be discriminate by the society..........still remember the suggestion 2 isolate all the AIDS patient in a remote island? discrimination did rear its head!

5.After they guys have achieve wat they want,they'll then propose a break-up to the gurl.

If a guy trully love a gurl,he should respect her n never suggest 2 have pre-marital sex. It won't be too late 2 have a safer sex after marriage. rite? :wink:

[budakkerek]

hehe
seems like Wendy has done an elaboration of miy points. Good job!

And yes, the view on sex is often shaped by society. it might seem ok to some, but not to others. for example, poligamy in islam is considered as ok but not in other religions. But even this, comes with its own rationale and reasons.

next, why do guys who sleep around during his youth or maybe even after his marriage, expects his wife to be a virgin when he marries her n that she remains faithful to him for life?

to me, that is just hipocrisy. plain and simple.

[digimushu]

Have you guys ever wondered why Eve ate the apple? Was it because it had the knowledge, or because it is forbidden? Think about it.

Youths tend to break rules because rules are there to be broken. The more you try to impose yur will one them, by saying something is bad, the more you will see that they will do it.

Our society has a problem, people tend to see single mothers as outcasts and should be shunned and ridiculed. That is wrong. plain wrong.

Ever wonder why so many pregnant single mothers dump their children in the dustbin, etc? its because they are scared of the labels that our conservative and uncaring society will put on them. They have nowhere to turn to because of our ultra conservative society. They will be judged and in the end who will suffer? The single mother and her child. Our institutions of higher learning or schools should never kick single mothers out of school. These people need our support. the more you antagonize them, the more they will blame the child for every bad thing that happens in their life. Please, stop labelling single mothers and blaming them, calling them s.l.u.t.s and such.

I dont mind saying this, I'm pro-choice and I am certainly pro sex-ed. Children should never be thought to be ashamed of their bodies, or of sex. They should be educated about ways to prevent STD and to protect themselves from untoward advances.

Perhaps i'm liberal in my view, although agree abstinence is the best preventive measure, but sometimes you really cant help it, being intimate with the person you love.

[littlebigone]

hehe
seems like Wendy has done an elaboration of miy points. Good job!

And yes, the view on sex is often shaped by society. it might seem ok to some, but not to others. for example, poligamy in islam is considered as ok but not in other religions. But even this, comes with its own rationale and reasons.

next, why do guys who sleep around during his youth or maybe even after his marriage, expects his wife to be a virgin when he marries her n that she remains faithful to him for life?

to me, that is just hipocrisy. plain and simple.

i don't expect my wife to be a virgin. maybe you and I mix with different people but I feel that if someone is okay with hooking up then that someone should also not expect a virgin wife. If anyone thinks otherwise then I agree with you that it is plain hypocrisy. Not only that I think it's plain chauvanistic for any guy to think that way. Girls can have their fun too. (if you feel that having casual hook-ups is fun)

Of women being the one having to deal with any consequences I agree with digimushu. I feel like they should be helped by society and not made outcasts. But I also have to say that we can't change how society thinks in a heartbeat. so sometimes, think of where you are before you engage in any "nefarious" activities.

I also want to point out that responsibility in sex goes beyond just making sure not to spread diseases or to guard against unwanted pregnancies. Sex can be and is a very emotional thing. Make sure that you both know if it's a simple fling or if it's something more serious. You don't want to cause someone misery and make sex seem cheap just because you want to have your fun.

[StupidCupid]

From http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/5/8/features/10733239&sec=features Sex with a man you love is a wonderful experience. Do not allow it to be marred by guilt and regrets. It is your right to choose the moment to fulfil your love and commitment to each other, sanctified by God and law, if you so wish.

It's one person's choice to choose whether she want to have sex or not, its not up to the other person to say anything.

I did said that
As long as you know what you are doing and know your responsible, you can do whatever you want.
You don't force you partner, you both willing to do so, then go ahead.

1. a child might be conceived out of it. causing more prob to the gurl than the guy. She might be disown by her fmly, called slut etc. the child will be called "anak haram" etc. she'll be shunned by society and so on. As for the guy, normally he wont be responsible, as he view the sex they hv had, as being 'just sex'. in other words, "lepas tangan". And in our msian culture, a marriage that takes place to 'cover up' for this, is still deemed as unacceptable. The couple will still be shunned by the society, for'conceiving 'before marriage'. In other words, although the right steps might be taken (marriage to bring the attention away fr the fact that the gurl is pregnant), it wont stop the society fr judging those involved.

That is what this world or i should say our country's "bad habit".
Like to gossip and busybody.
Why talk bad about the others when they themselves don't think there is anything wrong???
Just because you think it's wrong doesn't mean that it's totally wrong!!


6.Multiple partner, more chances of getting STD.

having sex before mariage doesn't mean that that person do "sex rambang"!!!

Sex in a marriage protects both the mother and the child, even if the father divorces the mother, the child will still be his responsibility. BUT, without marriage, there's no guarantee that the father will be responsible for the child he helps create, and for the gurl he has used to satisfy his lust.

nevertheless, i do agree with you on this.

Over all, i think practice safe sex is ok.
provided that the girls have to know the responsibilities and consequences and guys too have to take up the responsibilities ...

[friendly]

Steppe, i read the article n i definitely agree with the answer. that situation is not uncommon to us, even in our konon konon still intact Msian culture.

I asked that question to StupidCupid bcoz i think he/she did not think past the concept of pre-marital sex. more often than not, the girl will feel the regret of having rushed into it and such pressure, can cause th couple to break up. Be it casual or sthing done out of love (or pressure?), it will still make the gurl feel guilty somehow.

i do not disagree with sex. in fact i view of it as sthing special that u share btw 2 ppl in love. I am concerned however, when sex is practised btw 2 unmarried ppl. it has several consequences.

1. a child might be conceived out of it. causing more prob to the
gurl than the guy. She might be disown by her fmly, called slut etc. the child will be called "anak haram" etc. she'll be shunned by society and so on. As for the guy, normally he wont be responsible, as he view the sex they hv had, as being 'just sex'. in other words, "lepas tangan". And in our msian culture, a marriage that takes place to 'cover up' for this, is still deemed as unacceptable. The couple will still be shunned by the society, for'conceiving 'before marriage'. In other words, although the right steps might be taken (marriage to bring the attention away fr the fact that the gurl is pregnant), it wont stop the society fr judging those involved.

2. after the sex, the guy might find the gurl too cheap for agreeing to hv sex w him. then will look for reasons to leave her.

3. the gurl will feel guilty, regret etc, causing strain in the rship, which might bring to break up

4. the gurl or guy might not feel the same as he/she did in the first stage of the rship, but is unable to leave his/her partner due to him/her being "the first one".

5. might cause emotional strain to the gurl, and sex might become n addiction.

6.Multiple partner, more chances of getting STD.

7. u nvr know how true your partner will be. pre-marital sex is insecure.

As i said before, sex is more than just sex. Marriage brings security, which is why sex is sanctioned as okay by the society n God when it is done by a married couple. Sex in a marriage protects both the mother and the child, even if the father divorces the mother, the child will still be his responsibility. BUT, without marriage, there's no guarantee that the father will be responsible for the child he helps create, and for the gurl he has used to satisfy his lust.

without marriage we will all be like animals, screwing any female we see as fit, leaving evidences of our 'adventures' everywhere.



couldn't have agree more!

Me too... totally agree with this :wink:

[cquayhl]

A possibly helpful article:

http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft9305/articles/turner.html

And a possibly helpful Papal Encyclical (Familiaris Consortio, the Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World):

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio_en.htmll

[wendy]

1. a child might be conceived out of it. causing more prob to the gurl than the guy. She might be disown by her fmly, called slut etc. the child will be called "anak haram" etc. she'll be shunned by society and so on. As for the guy, normally he wont be responsible, as he view the sex they hv had, as being 'just sex'. in other words, "lepas tangan". And in our msian culture, a marriage that takes place to 'cover up' for this, is still deemed as unacceptable. The couple will still be shunned by the society, for'conceiving 'before marriage'. In other words, although the right steps might be taken (marriage to bring the attention away fr the fact that the gurl is pregnant), it wont stop the society fr judging those involved.

That is what this world or i should say our country's "bad habit".
Like to gossip and busybody.


Y is it a bad habit? pre-marital sex is considered a taboo since olden days esp in our country n it has been pass down from a generation 2 the next generation, till it had became a norm in our society. It is only now that the youth of today been influenced by t western countries which has been more liberal in this sex matter. I've gotta say that sex appeal is displayed widely in most western movie, till it become very commom 4 us 2 spot half naked or naked women,naked man,kissing scene,sex scene in de movies. this eventually giv us an impression or a concept of pre-marital sex as very normal n that is how ppl tend to get influenced by it. so i've gotta say that the real 'bad habit' is pre-marital sex.....not de gossips! Gossips r act 1 of the consequences u have to bear, so if u can't stand gossips.......then don't do it in the first place!

Why talk bad about the others when they themselves don't think there is anything wrong???
Just because you think it's wrong doesn't mean that it's totally wrong!![/quote]

I guess since they don't think there is anything wrong, it would be nice if others wake them up, n let them realise their mistake.
I've gotta agree that its not totally wrong, it depends on each n everyone mindset, but wat the society believe in general is wats most important as they r de ones tat causes the stigma.

In conclusion, think rationally before u it!

[ElansarGelmir]

I guess since they don't think there is anything wrong, it would be nice if others wake them up, n let them realise their mistake.

Most people always regret what they do (and I don't mean only sex, zaitsev) after they enjoyed doing it (including me).
Thus, it is VERY IMPORTANT to know what you are doing, and the consequences... I think everyone keeps mentioning about this, but no one's taking heed.

If you don't want, just say NO. Simple. If your bf threatens to break up with you because you say no, then it proves that he puts sex above you, ie, you are one of his sex instruments. Don't be a weakling and then blame on the guys for whatever happened later.

You had the choice, and you made the decision, so, enjoy it. Don't look back, no regrets.

P/S I am not only talking about sex, but most things in general.

I've gotta agree that its not totally wrong, it depends on each n everyone mindset, but wat the society believe in general is wats most important as they r de ones tat causes the stigma.

Why let the society define your life, when it's yours?

[StupidCupid]

Why let the society define your life, when it's yours?
that is what i was trying to say.

[wendy]

[quote=wendy]I've gotta agree that its not totally wrong, it depends on each n everyone mindset, but wat the society believe in general is wats most important as they r de ones tat causes the stigma.

Why let the society define your life, when it's yours?

The society doesnt't define ur life, it guide ur life! when u're doin somethin against the norm, the 'feedbacks' u get frm de society will indicate whether your action is right or wrong.Y should we rebel n do sumthing opposite the norm....n then later on worry about gossips n stuff. well if u seriously don't mind about gossips.....plz think again n spare a thought for your family, ur parents who have brought u up. Do u wanna tarnish ur family's reputation jz to fulfil ur desire?

[digimushu]

You live your life to make someone else happy? I really dont care what people think of me or say about me. because i'm happy being me and making my own choices.

[wawa]

The society doesnt't define ur life, it guide ur life! when u're doin somethin against the norm, the 'feedbacks' u get frm de society will indicate whether your action is right or wrong.Y should we rebel n do sumthing opposite the norm....n then later on worry about gossips n stuff. well if u seriously don't mind about gossips.....plz think again n spare a thought for your family, ur parents who have brought u up. Do u wanna tarnish ur family's reputation jz to fulfil ur desire?

wendy, That is a very dangerous way of defining what your life should be. In Pakistan, girls are routinely killed because society things that they are wrong/tarnished the family image Does that make what the Pakistani 'guide for life' a moral/good one? Obviosly not.
From another perspective, are you going to live your live according to what other people/society expects? Societal control at its worst?

The current scenario is the that female always have to face many repurcussions, getting pregnant, being gossiped, ostracized etc. While I agree that after getting pregnant (esp when's its too late) there's nothing we can do about, what's important is that does not add additional pressures or stigma associated with that In a society that respects other choices, it should remain respect I find it akin publicly humiliating a person who's just lost a limb. It this case, we find it disgraceful that a person inflicted emotionally and physically being further pressured, why can't the society take a more humane attitude towards the single mothers, instead of labelling them as wendy mentioned 'tarnish the family reputation'?

[lolilo]

In Pakistan, girls are routinely killed because society things that they are wrong/tarnished the family image Does that make what the Pakistani 'guide for life' a moral/good one? Obviously not.



Anyone read 'Desert Flower'? It's a Biography about an African girl who ran away from her cruel, conservative and chavinistic society. Currently a model and a UN representative. Her name er...( dang, memory lapse)

It seems, in Africa, little girls by the age of 4 or 5 will be circumsized by using blades, sticks and thread in order to prevent PRE- MARITAL sex. how? use your imagination. THe details are hell of gory..... that's what you get if you follow the so-called norm of the society.

.Y should we rebel n do sumthing opposite the norm....n then later on worry about gossips n stuff. well if u seriously don't mind about gossips.....plz think again n spare a thought for your family, ur parents who have brought u up. Do u wanna tarnish ur family's reputation jz to fulfil ur desire?

cos being a Rebel is fun. a goody-goody two shoes is not. ( jk)

Gossips happen even if we did nothing at all everyone gets that all the time. It's good to learn to not give a damn.

[lolilo]

Fact:

All of the great leaders, in whatever walks of life they have arisen, have been and are people of highly sexed natures.

Sexual contact is one of the most effective of the stimuli through which the mind may be recharged, providing the contact is intelligently made, between man and women who have genuine affection for each other.

okay, it's not excerpts from Playboy, it is actually from the book ' Law of Success' by Napoleon Hill. * grin*

[budakkerek]

Anyone read 'Desert Flower'? It's a Biography about an African girl who ran away from her cruel, conservative and chavinistic society. Currently a model and a UN representative. Her name er...( dang, memory lapse)

Gossips happen even if we did nothing at all everyone gets that all the time. It's good to learn to not give a damn.

the model's name is Alex Wek.

Anyway, seems now everyone is talking bout why we should bother bout what the society says.

personally, i dont gv shite about what other ppl think. like one of the Big brother contestants said, "i live with myself every day, they dont. why should i care bout what they say?" i totally agree with him on dat. nobody knows what i am dealing with. all they can do is talk jackshite. and there's nothing i can do to stop that fr happening.

but, living in a society, i hv to adhere to certain rules. like in Msia, pre marital sex is considered as a big no no. Easy peasy. you dont wanna get caught or get dissed or whatever, juz move to some place else. come to oz or got to the States. no body cares if u r doing it five times a day with your bf.

the thing with society is, there're diff kinds of ppl in it. with diff opinions, diff bground, diff beliefs etc. And these ppl share a common set of basic moral rules, like manners n stuff like dat.

so when we live in a society where pre marital sex is considered as a taboo, a social mores, then dont blame the ppl around u if they treat you like lepers. coz that's their opinion, that pre marital sex is a taboo. and when u break that rule, means u do not adhere to the rule of that society, which in turn means exclusion fr the society.

it's a bit complicated but i think u know wat i mean.

think of when u r in Kindy. tadika la.
you got a group of friends. one fella hv a fight w another fella. he/she told you not to 'friend' here. you disagree. end result? being ostracised by the group.

what i'm saying is, do what u want, but dont forget, there are consequences to all your actions. not only to yourself, but also to your family etc. Maybe some of you dont care, but honouring the fmly name, is one of the most important things in our culture. if you think, you dont want to do dat, fine to me. but think of what your parents n family would think, and whether it's fair for them to be getting the blame for what you do.

[budakkerek]

here's sthing i got off the net:
Of the Western thinkers, special mention must be made of Sigmund Freud and Karl Marx. Freud's outstanding contribution is his discovery of the unconscious. But by laying too great a stress on sex as the most important driving force, he has reduced man into a sexual animal, the homo-sexuals, with far reaching psycho-social consequences which are too evident in the contemporary society to be mentioned. The whole aim of his system of psychotherapy is to help man attain sexual maturity.

Marx believes that man is driven primarily by a desire for economic gains: he is a homo-economicus. However, in Das Capital, he has defined man as a social animal. According to him, if man fails to relate himself actively with others and with nature, he loses himself, becomes alienated; his drives lose human qualities and assume animal qualities. He becomes sick, fragmented, crippled human being.

According to Marx man is driven by two sets of drives: fixed or constant and relative. Sex and hunger fall under the first category, while relative drives like hate, avarice etc. owe their origin to certain types of social organizations.

So, which one do you think you are?

[Cirnelle]

the model's name is Alex Wek..

the model's name is not Alex Wek, her name is Waris Dirie. i first read her story in reader's digest. and i cried. i later went to buy her biography and read the whole book once again. her story is the life testimony of how we should not admit defeat to things which we could not accept, even if it is a socalled social norm, or in Dirie's case, a tradition practiced since eons ago.

i believe there isnt a definite answer to whether we 'should' or 'should not' practice pre-marital sex. its a matter of choice. i'm sure factors like religion, society, medias, your parents, your friends, forums like recom has exposed you to enough informations about this issue. so to do or not to do, its your choice. :wink:

[adriano]

hey guys... cekap forum... anyway, ive been trying to catch up on the forum and ive spent the last half an hour reading all the posts!!! *sepintas lalu only la, sooo many wut*

and tis is MY take on sex...

it is definitely OK to engage in pre-marital sex, but NOT in underage sex... i mean, by the time ur 'legal', in which case would be 18 i think in malaysia, u'll kinda be old and responsible enuf to make decisions right...

and someone posted a question askin if we wud mind our future 'wife/husband' be non-virgin... as for me, when i was a lil bit younger, it did bother me... but seeing as to how people are so open about sex nowadays, it wouldn't bother me if my future wife was non-virgin...

at least thats how i see it... anyway sharing the same view?

*eh don scold me if i offended anyone okies....*

[cra]

Cirnelle : the model's name is not Alex Wek, her name is Waris Dirie. i first read her story in reader's digest.yup, same here, i read about her on the reader digest, some special interview or something like that. well, she's mentioned about never be able to enjoy sex for the rest of her life. here: It seems, in Africa, little girls by the age of 4 or 5 will be circumsized by using blades, sticks and thread in order to prevent PRE- MARITAL sex. how? use your imagination.

[jackfook]

I would not agree with pre marital sex.Although we have freedom to do so after mature(legal age is 18),the relationship which is built on sex will not last longer.It is easier to AIDS too.I know most of the people use condom for safety purpose but it only reduces the risk of getting this desease.The youths does whatever according to their emotion without thinking the consequense faced by them in the future.It is not easy to serve a baby since the sudden appearance of a baby will give you a surprise.Think before you leap!!

[cra]

do not want pre-marital sex but still the urge the feeling of having sex? 8O

get urself a fleshlight today! :twisted:

[theT]

pre marital sex does not equal to casual sex though some casual sex can be considered as pre marital sex.

most people here talk about STD and unwanted pregnancy as the consequences of pre marital sex. If one commit to monogamous pre marital sex, the chance of getting STD is reduced. Some of std's being inherited from their parent. So, one might have some STD's though they are virgins.

I still think birth control is important whether you're married of not, it helps to prevent pregnancies and spreading of STD. It does not work sometime, but it works most of the time.

*So girls out there make sure you get your prescription, and boys make sure you have your condom all the time (and it's not expired).

[Salvation]

For those who missed the Reader's Digest article:

http://www.hcc.hawaii.edu/~pine/Phil110/waris-dirie.html

[youngyew]

I would not agree with pre marital sex.Although we have freedom to do so after mature(legal age is 18 ),the relationship which is built on sex will not last longer.It is easier to AIDS too.I know most of the people use condom for safety purpose but it only reduces the risk of getting this desease.The youths does whatever according to their emotion without thinking the consequense faced by them in the future.It is not easy to serve a baby since the sudden appearance of a baby will give you a surprise.Think before you leap!!
Are you sure the legal age is 18? If I am not mistaken I once heard that the legal age is 16...

[iQing]

Here is a very good weblink on this issue.

Enjoy !

warning : the content of the website is copyrighted !

http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/virginity.html

[wendy]

The society doesnt't define ur life, it guide ur life! when u're doin somethin against the norm, the 'feedbacks' u get frm de society will indicate whether your action is right or wrong.Y should we rebel n do sumthing opposite the norm....n then later on worry about gossips n stuff. well if u seriously don't mind about gossips.....plz think again n spare a thought for your family, ur parents who have brought u up. Do u wanna tarnish ur family's reputation jz to fulfil ur desire?

wendy, That is a very dangerous way of defining what your life should be. In Pakistan, girls are routinely killed because society things that they are wrong/tarnished the family image Does that make what the Pakistani 'guide for life' a moral/good one? Obviosly not.
From another perspective, are you going to live your live according to what other people/society expects? Societal control at its worst?

The current scenario is the that female always have to face many repurcussions, getting pregnant, being gossiped, ostracized etc. While I agree that after getting pregnant (esp when's its too late) there's nothing we can do about, what's important is that does not add additional pressures or stigma associated with that In a society that respects other choices, it should remain respect I find it akin publicly humiliating a person who's just lost a limb. It this case, we find it disgraceful that a person inflicted emotionally and physically being further pressured, why can't the society take a more humane attitude towards the single mothers, instead of labelling them as wendy mentioned 'tarnish the family reputation'?

that wasn't what i meant! everything should be carry out moderately.don't u think so? sorry 4 givin u de wrong idea, i don't discriminate single mom, every mother is very noble! But the way u're putting it is as tho u're encouraging pre-marital sex. am i rite?
my purpose here is to discourage pre-marital sex by stating de consequences of it.isn't prevention better than cure? neway sorry 4 all de misunderstanding!

[cra]

Are you sure the legal age is 18? If I am not mistaken I once heard that the legal age is 16...
i thought the consent age in singapore is 16? while here in malaysia it's 18?

[wawa]

that wasn't what i meant! everything should be carry out moderately.don't u think so? sorry 4 givin u de wrong idea, i don't discriminate single mom, every mother is very noble! But the way u're putting it is as tho u're encouraging pre-marital sex. am i rite?
my purpose here is to discourage pre-marital sex by stating de consequences of it.isn't prevention better than cure? neway sorry 4 all de misunderstanding!

I am neither encouraging nor discouraging premarital sex
As said by others in earlier posts, its the personal choice of those people, which I personally feel should also include not imposing my personal opinion as to wether a person should have sex pre-maritally. What my earlier post meant implicitly (hopeflly :D) is that a lot of labelling and namecalling and shunning in our Malaysian society of single mothers are a direct result of pious people imposing their values on other people, which I feel should not be accepted. Be against pre-marital sex if you like, but who are we to feel that other people should also follow the all same values and ideas and the judge people accordingly?

Reflecting, an interesting analogy (don't take it too literally :D) would be like choosing what clothes to wear. If a person chooses to wear bright red from top to toe/or someother funny combination, its the person's choice. Just because I like to wear Jeans I don't insist other people to wear Jeans too, do I? :lol:

[wendy]

that wasn't what i meant! everything should be carry out moderately.don't u think so? sorry 4 givin u de wrong idea, i don't discriminate single mom, every mother is very noble! But the way u're putting it is as tho u're encouraging pre-marital sex. am i rite?
my purpose here is to discourage pre-marital sex by stating de consequences of it.isn't prevention better than cure? neway sorry 4 all de misunderstanding!

I am neither encouraging nor discouraging premarital sex
As said by others in earlier posts, its the personal choice of those people, which I personally feel should also include not imposing my personal opinion as to wether a person should have sex pre-maritally. What my earlier post meant implicitly (hopeflly :D) is that a lot of labelling and namecalling and shunning in our Malaysian society of single mothers are a direct result of pious people imposing their values on other people, which I feel should not be accepted. Be against pre-marital sex if you like, but who are we to feel that other people should also follow the all same values and ideas and the judge people accordingly?

Reflecting, an interesting analogy (don't take it too literally :D) would be like choosing what clothes to wear. If a person chooses to wear bright red from top to toe/or someother funny combination, its the person's choice. Just because I like to wear Jeans I don't insist other people to wear Jeans too, do I? :lol:

so it is also rite to abort a child? is it rite 2 throw a baby in de rubbish dump? is it rite to kill ur new-born child? is it rite 4 young n hot- blooded parents to abuse their child????????? If ppl do wathever they like, the world would go topsy turvy! Don't u think so. N the tittle of this thread is 'DO V AGREE WIF PRE-MARITAL SEX' so is it wrong to state my disagreement? i personally do not shun away single mom! i hav a fren whose mom is a single mom!
n i can tell u it is very hard to b a single mom, my fren's mom nearly broke down! that is the consequnces a gurl will have to face!!!! what i'm trying to do here is to state the consequences of it so ppl would think twice b 4 they act rashly. i really really hope u understand wat i mean!

[theT]

this is a bit off topic,
but since I don't believe in sex after marriage I'd like to inform jpa scholars in the States that our insurance doesn't cover birth control contraceptive. Though the insurance doesn't cover the cost, if you're sexually active please consider using somekind of contraceptive method. Most people ignore the importance of contraceptive usage. If everyone practice safe sex, we can cut down the number of abortions.

[PiK]

lets talk about sex baby
how about it you and me
na na na na na na

[suzanne]

8O All this in an thread under the education forums....hmm..
Okay. I have to say this is my own personal opinion and principal. I agree with Steppe and budakkerek. There are reasons why abstinence of sex before marriage is practiced by some people.. if it was just made up for no reason at all do you think it would have even existed? If there was NOTHING WHAT SO EVER wrong with it.. do you feel that this thread would even exist? There must be a reason, right? STDs, emotional problems.. you know the rest

When you have sex with a person, (rambang or not) you develop a 'soul tie' with that person.. this might sound weird to you.. especially the guys.. cause some just view it as something normal and casual. However this is not so for others. I believe that sex should be between two people who are 100% ready for it and should be done after u marry the person.
Virginity, to me is a gift. It's your dignity and a very major part of you.I am a Christian and I believe in my values completely. Call me orthodox and holy-moly.. but that's who I am. You don't just give it away to just anybody ( are you 101% sure the guy's not gonna leave u?) Once you give it away.. it don't come back no more

and society...it's not always pro-abstinence... some so called 'cool' ppl think it's something to be ashamed of if u havent lost your virginity... JUST BECAUSE OTHERS SAY IT'S OK DOESNT MEAN IT'S RIGHT! Are condoms really safe? Dont let one bad moment ruin your life. If you really love each other, then you can surely wait. Think about it. Thats just my 2 cents worth.

[youngyew]

8O All this in an thread under the education forums....hmm..
Okay. I have to say this is my own personal opinion and principal. I agree with Steppe and budakkerek. There are reasons why abstinence of sex before marriage is practiced by some people.. if it was just made up for no reason at all do you think it would have even existed? If there was NOTHING WHAT SO EVER wrong with it.. do you feel that this thread would even exist? There must be a reason, right? STDs, emotional problems.. you know the rest

When you have sex with a person, (rambang or not) you develop a 'soul tie' with that person.. this might sound weird to you.. especially the guys.. cause some just view it as something normal and casual. However this is not so for others. I believe that sex should be between two people who are 100% ready for it and should be done after u marry the person.
Virginity, to me is a gift. It's your dignity and a very major part of you.I am a Christian and I believe in my values completely. Call me orthodox and holy-moly.. but that's who I am. You don't just give it away to just anybody ( are you 101% sure the guy's not gonna leave u?) Once you give it away.. it don't come back no more

and society...it's not always pro-abstinence... some so called 'cool' ppl think it's something to be ashamed of if u havent lost your virginity... JUST BECAUSE OTHERS SAY IT'S OK DOESNT MEAN IT'S RIGHT! Are condoms really safe? Dont let one bad moment ruin your life. If you really love each other, then you can surely wait. Think about it. Thats just my 2 cents worth.
I admire you as someone upholding your values steadfast, suzanne..

However, there's one question in my mind. What do you think that those guys who would abandon their girlfriend when they find out that she's not a virgin? Would you respect them as they uphold the holy attitude of "no virgin no talk"?

For me it's how our male chauvinist inclined our society norm is. When it comes to pre-marital sex, men are always given more freedom to be involved, and the rich experience is sometimes even endorsed as it "yields experience". Women, on the other hand, are invariable the victim of the concept that "non-virgin's value depreciate". Sigh.

[Steppe]

Please read this:

http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/5/22/features/11003568&sec=features

This will be the reality if one is not careful. As we are all so young now, still studying, do not even know where we will end up, in which Uni, which country, changes can be volatile, etc. there are still so many unknowns. How could we be sure who will be our partner right now? Life is still a long way to go.

It is better to be more careful than ending up having regrets and lose our dignity. Not every girl is that casual and can take it easy.

[masdie]

For those who missed the Reader's Digest article:

http://www.hcc.hawaii.edu/~pine/Phil110/waris-dirie.html

I know this is out of topic but I just read the above-mentioned article. And I am totally disturbed with the story. How can people inflict so much pain for no apparent reason? I vow that I will take good care of my girls. Please reserve a seat in hell for those people who support and perform FGM. BURN THEM IN HELL!!!

[Thirdshifter]

dont malay girls get FGM as well? Although probably a more mild FGM but they definately get it.

[budakkerek]

yea, it's known as bersunat (circumcision) for the girls. but it's not like FGM, coz FGM is like totally close the female private part *too technical, dunno how to explain* which makes it cruel coz it causes pain even when peeing. Well, read more on FGM if you wanna know more about it and how it's done. i'm too lazy to elaborate =p

[masdie]

Actually I did some homework before posting. I found out that FGM is illegal in Islam. Because Muslim girls have only their prepuce of clitoris cut off. Or is that considered FGM?

[ck]

Sex before or after marriage?

It's all about planning. If you are ready, do it. If not, don't do it.
And most importantly, safe sex.

Even married couple plan ahead before planning to have babies.

That's my opinion.

Actually I did some homework before posting. I found out that FGM is illegal in Islam. Because Muslim girls have only their prepuce of clitoris cut off. Or is that considered FGM?

Seriouly, is this being practice in Malaysia?

[gonjeng]

i dont know the exact procedure of 'bersunat' for the females, but yes we do practice it in malaysia... though i highly doubt that 'besunat' and FGM is the same, practically speaking. i've talked to ppl from medical field and none of them are against the practice nor say anything bad (side effects, etc.) about it :)

go find a muslim female friends of yours and ask her :)

[ck]

Ask a female muslim about this... OMG... she will look at me... "you sick chinese man... " :oops:

Anyway, thanks for the info.

[gonjeng]

Ask a female muslim about this... OMG... she will look at me... "you sick chinese man... " :oops:

Anyway, thanks for the info.

hahaha... erkk, if you are a male, you may not wanna do that unless she is a close fren with you. ask her through you female non-muslim frens aaa... hehehehe...

i know pun b'coz i asked my wife :D

[theT]

Actually I did some homework before posting. I found out that FGM is illegal in Islam. Because Muslim girls have only their prepuce of clitoris cut off. Or is that considered FGM?

i've been told that in malaysia some muslim do practice somekind of circumcision for female. it only cut off some part of the hood of the clitoris. i don't really know how it effects sexual activity since the hood does not really serve a purpose beside to cover the clitoris. And the lack of it only will make it easier for the sex partner in looking for the clitoris.

[gonjeng]

i do not know how FGM was done neither do i care to know about it, but if you are interested in the rulings and method of female circumcision in islam, here's a link:

http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=qa&lv=browse&QR=9412&dgn=4

the discussion covers for men and women, though, as the scholar was explaining the issue for both sides. the source is reliable and hence can be trusted, God willing :)

here, i am making the assumption that the practice back in malaysia and as how it is stated in the article is pretty much similar. well, unless some female muslims recommers can prove otherwise...

[PeiWen]

I think it's quite common for today's couples to practice cohabitation. So, directly this practice supports the action of pre-marital sex. IMHO, as long as the couples are really committed into each other, and they perform protected sex; of course they have to understand the true meaning behind having sex, which is not merely satisfying each other, but rather this action will improve the relationship. Though we are living in a modern world now, but upholding certain traditional practices won't do us harm.