Searching for a joke

[wpyeoh]

I'm looking for a joke that I've seen before...but I can't find it...so if anyone has it, or remember its contents can you please let me know?

It's this one:
woman= time x money
we know that time is money: time=money
so we have : woman= money x money = money ?
We know that money is the root of all problems
=>money= problems ^1/2
=>woman= money? = (problems^1/2) ?
conclusion: woman= problems

It's presented as a handwritten work, maybe that's why I can't find it when I make searches...but after this part there is another part about guys... if I'm not mistaken in the end guy= problems^3 or something like that...but I'm not sure...if you have the joke please post it here...thanks ^_^

[starlemon]

first and foremost,jokes tend to make people burst into laughters..
See the following jokes...whether it makes u burst inti laughter or just simply a nerd joke..lol

There was a little boy who was at his British grandma's house, and he said, "I need to go pee." His grandma said, "You say 'I need to whisper.'" When the little boy came home he said, "I need to whisper." His father said "Whisper in my ear." The little boy did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a man with a pecker as long as 25 inches. No one wants to be with him. He asked a wise man how to have a shorter pecker...
Guy: How could it get shorter?

Man: Go to the forest. You will meet a princess and ask her out. When she says no, it'll get shorter.

The guy did as he was told. He asked the princess out and she said no. His thing got shorter by 10 inches. He asked her out again. She said no. His thing got shorter by 5 inches. The guy thought, "Since my pecker is now 5 inches, the princess will say yes for sure!". He asked her out again. The princess got irritated and said, "NO, NO, NO!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bush and Cheney are sitting in a restaurant. A guy across the room with his wife asked the waiter, "Excuse me, is that President Bush sitting over there?"
"Yes sir", the waiter replied, "The president and the vice president like to dine here every Saturday".
So the man walks over to introduce himself, but Bush interrupts him with a question.
"Excuse me, fella, me and Cheney here are having an argument, think you could help us out?"

A bit taken aback, the man replies:"Err..sure".

Bush then continues,"Ok, so for the new war strategy, how would you feel if we bombed Iraq into the ground and took 300 mail men captive."

The man asks: "Why would you want to capture 300 mailmen?"

Bush immediately turns to Cheney and says: "See, you fool, I told you no one would care about the bombings!"

:PWhich of the 3 jokes makes u burst into laughter?lol:P

[dilenkumar]

first and foremost,jokes tend to make people burst into laughters..
See the following jokes...whether it makes u burst inti laughter or just simply a nerd joke..lol

There was a little boy who was at his British grandma's house, and he said, "I need to go pee." His grandma said, "You say 'I need to whisper.'" When the little boy came home he said, "I need to whisper." His father said "Whisper in my ear." The little boy did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a man with a pecker as long as 25 inches. No one wants to be with him. He asked a wise man how to have a shorter pecker...
Guy: How could it get shorter?

Man: Go to the forest. You will meet a princess and ask her out. When she says no, it'll get shorter.

The guy did as he was told. He asked the princess out and she said no. His thing got shorter by 10 inches. He asked her out again. She said no. His thing got shorter by 5 inches. The guy thought, "Since my pecker is now 5 inches, the princess will say yes for sure!". He asked her out again. The princess got irritated and said, "NO, NO, NO!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bush and Cheney are sitting in a restaurant. A guy across the room with his wife asked the waiter, "Excuse me, is that President Bush sitting over there?"
"Yes sir", the waiter replied, "The president and the vice president like to dine here every Saturday".
So the man walks over to introduce himself, but Bush interrupts him with a question.
"Excuse me, fella, me and Cheney here are having an argument, think you could help us out?"

A bit taken aback, the man replies:"Err..sure".

Bush then continues,"Ok, so for the new war strategy, how would you feel if we bombed Iraq into the ground and took 300 mail men captive."

The man asks: "Why would you want to capture 300 mailmen?"

Bush immediately turns to Cheney and says: "See, you fool, I told you no one would care about the bombings!"

:PWhich of the 3 jokes makes u burst into laughter?lol:P

I think the 3rd one is the best...

[zureen]

Bush and Cheney are sitting in a restaurant. A guy across the room with his wife asked the waiter, "Excuse me, is that President Bush sitting over there?"
"Yes sir", the waiter replied, "The president and the vice president like to dine here every Saturday".
So the man walks over to introduce himself, but Bush interrupts him with a question.
"Excuse me, fella, me and Cheney here are having an argument, think you could help us out?"

A bit taken aback, the man replies:"Err..sure".

Bush then continues,"Ok, so for the new war strategy, how would you feel if we bombed Iraq into the ground and took 300 mail men captive."

The man asks: "Why would you want to capture 300 mailmen?"

Bush immediately turns to Cheney and says: "See, you fool, I told you no one would care about the bombings!"

:PWhich of the 3 jokes makes u burst into laughter?lol:P

the third one for sure..kay..tell me what u think of this one..

Two cockroaches were going through rubbish at a town's dumpsite, searching for dinner.

Cockroach A : Hey have you heard of the new restaurant in town? Their kitchen is super clean and shiny. Very hygienic.

Cockroach B : Please! Not while i'm eating!

*geddit?

[Gabrielle90]

Mom Writes To Son Away At College
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home ... so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house so they wouldn't have to change their address. Wish I would have thought of that.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with those heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some of the men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for about 3 days.
Three of your friends drove into Coyote Creek in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down in time.
Not much more news this time, nothing much happened.
Love, Mom
P.S. I was going to send you money, but the email was already sent.

[abuzar]

first and foremost,jokes tend to make people burst into laughters..
See the following jokes...whether it makes u burst inti laughter or just simply a nerd joke..lol

There was a little boy who was at his British grandma's house, and he said, "I need to go pee." His grandma said, "You say 'I need to whisper.'" When the little boy came home he said, "I need to whisper." His father said "Whisper in my ear." The little boy did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a man with a pecker as long as 25 inches. No one wants to be with him. He asked a wise man how to have a shorter pecker...
Guy: How could it get shorter?

Man: Go to the forest. You will meet a princess and ask her out. When she says no, it'll get shorter.

The guy did as he was told. He asked the princess out and she said no. His thing got shorter by 10 inches. He asked her out again. She said no. His thing got shorter by 5 inches. The guy thought, "Since my pecker is now 5 inches, the princess will say yes for sure!". He asked her out again. The princess got irritated and said, "NO, NO, NO!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bush and Cheney are sitting in a restaurant. A guy across the room with his wife asked the waiter, "Excuse me, is that President Bush sitting over there?"
"Yes sir", the waiter replied, "The president and the vice president like to dine here every Saturday".
So the man walks over to introduce himself, but Bush interrupts him with a question.
"Excuse me, fella, me and Cheney here are having an argument, think you could help us out?"

A bit taken aback, the man replies:"Err..sure".

Bush then continues,"Ok, so for the new war strategy, how would you feel if we bombed Iraq into the ground and took 300 mail men captive."

The man asks: "Why would you want to capture 300 mailmen?"

Bush immediately turns to Cheney and says: "See, you fool, I told you no one would care about the bombings!"

:PWhich of the 3 jokes makes u burst into laughter?lol:P

3rd one.Its sarcastic

[Gabrielle90]

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq ."

The nun said, "I understand completely."

The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don't want to go to Iraq either."

[phoenix1892]

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/6462/equationoflifeoj7.jpg

You mean this?

[Gabrielle90]

what do you call a room with a bunch of naked men?
A BALL ROOM!!!!
what do you call a room with a bunch of naked men?
NUTS!!!

haha...

[Gabrielle90]

these three women die and they all go to heaven. When they get to the pearly gates, God says, "You may enter as long as you promise to not step on a duck. If you do, you will have to suffer the consequences." The three women give each other puzzled looks but they all agree. God opens the gates and lets them in. Before their eyes is a wonderful array of beautiful clouds and angels, but there are ducks EVERYWHERE. The first woman only lasts a day before she steps on a duck. Then God chains her to an ugly man for the rest of eternity. The second woman lasts about a week before she steps on a duck. Again, God chains this woman to an ugly man for the rest of eternity. The last woman, however, has gone three months without stepping on a duck. She thinks to herself, "Wow, I've done really good so far!" Suddenly, God chains her to the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. The woman thinks, "What is this for?" She asks the man what happened and he says, "I stepped on a duck."

[Gabrielle90]

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about, never knowing where he was or, sometimes, even who he was. She decided to take him to a nursing home.

At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man started slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up. A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side. Then he started leaning forward. This time the nurse strapped him into the chair.

After completing the paperwork, his wife walked up to him and asked, "So are you sure this place is okay?"

"It's okay," he said, "but why won't they let me fart?

[yummyummylicious]

I found this article quite interesting from RD April2008 issue and just wanna share this with fellow recommers , get this :

Title : WHY GUYS DONT WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS

Dear Abie,

The other day I set off for work. I hadn't gone more than 2 kilometres when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home, only to find my husband making love to our neighbour. He was let go from his job 6 months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but I dont know if I can trust him anymore. What should I do?

Frustrated

Dear Frustated,

A car stalling can be caused by a variety of fauts with the engine. Check that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. Or it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing the low delivery pressure to the carburettor float chamber.

I hope this helps.

[Gabrielle90]

An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer getsdissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designingand building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning andflush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,"So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning andflush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer isgoing to come up with next." God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake --he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, andI'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just whereare you going to get a lawyer?"

[youngyew]

Hi guys, just want to let you know that I have received a small complaint about some of the jokes here having a play on characters of God, Satan etc. I personally think that these jokes are not blasphemous and should be taken with a pinch of salt; however, here's just a reminder for everyone to be careful and avoid touching overly sensitive in otherwise trivial stuff. :)

[Al-Bert]

Business Equation:

Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows,

Work = Power * Time

Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we have:

Work = Knowledge * Money

Solving for Money, we get:

Money = Work / Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge decreases, Money increases, regardless of how much Work is done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.

Note: It has been speculated that the reason why Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard's math program was because he stumbled upon this proof as an undergraduate, and dedicated the rest of his career to the pursuit of ignorance.

Another:

http://bp1.blogger.com/_1bIY_tR5qwg/Rygl8cvyZPI/AAAAAAAABVA/mDfr330Lzbc/s400/Study+Fail.jpg

[chenjun1128]

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the President Bush yells. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands. Finally, he looks up and asks, "Exactly how many is a brazillion?"

[Gabrielle90]

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

S/he who hesitates is probably right.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private......failure in full view.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

[Caprio]

what do you call a room with a bunch of naked men?
A BALL ROOM!!!!
what do you call a room with a bunch of naked men?
NUTS!!!

haha...

Can BALLS and NUTS happen at the same time?

[yummyummylicious]

Do you know what's a NEVER ENDING riddle? Get this and try this with your friends...they will either pissed off or malas nak layan you...

A says : Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell out, so who's left?

B says : Repeat

A says : Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell out, so who's left?

B says : Repeat

A says : Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell out, so who's left?

B says : Repeat

A says :..............

B says : Repeat

A says : .............

B says : Repeat

Do this again and again and this will never end until someone call a quit.........

[wilson]

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and withoutrealizing his error, he sent the e-mail.Meanwhile... .Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband'sfuneral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages fromrelatives and friends.After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, foundhis mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read :

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowedto send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see thateverything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing youTOMORROW!

Your loving Hubby

[Gabrielle90]

A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the evening and not in the morning. Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM...

no offence.. it is just a joke...

[wilson]

Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
Customer : No, I can't.
Waiter : Then does it really matter ?




Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

[Gabrielle90]

The head pharmacist goes out to lunch leaving the assistant pharmacist in charge.When the head pharmacist returns from lunch he notices a man leaning against the wall.He asked the assistant what was wrong with the man leaning against the wall over there.The assistant pharmacist says,"Oh that guy.Oh yeah he came in a little while ago with a really bad cough so I sold him a laxative.He seems to be doing ok now..... I guess." The head pharmacist says,"Are you crazy?? You can't sell a laxative to someone who has a bad cough like that!?" The assistant pharmacist says "Well why not?? Look at him over there! Its working! He's too scared to cough now!!....."

[wilson]

An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.The old man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?''

Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

''Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''



A man tells a doctor, "I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do?"

The doctor says, "Well, try to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is."

The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner?" He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner?" He repeats this several times, until he's standing right next to her.

Finally, she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we're having Pot Roast!"

[Gabrielle90]

Teaching A Lesson

A wife was in the kitchen making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly , her husband burst into the kitchen.

?Careful,? he said, ?CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt! USE THE SALT! THE SALT!?

The wife stared at him. ?What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs??


The husband calmly replied, ?I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving

[weilun]

Teacher:"What is the formula of water???"

Student:"H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O..."

Teacher:"That's not the formula I gave you!!"

Student:"Yes,it is...You said it was H to O.":P

[Gabrielle90]

Boyfriend

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.

The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.

When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

[weilun]

Judge:"Why did you steal your friend's car???"

Prisoner:"I did not steal it,I just tool it for a joke..."

Judge:"Where did you take the car????"

Prisoner:"To London.."

Judge:"Well,that's is taking a joke too far!!!!"

[kpchen]

How Some Of The Best Minds Play Hide & Seek

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's out....."

Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared.....
That makes me Newton per meter squared......
since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......!

[Gabrielle90]

I Know The Whole Truth

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to
blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as
he is greeted by his mother. He says, "I know the whole truth." His
mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands
him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees
the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the
whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and
says, "Then come give your daddy a great big hug!".

[weilun]

One day,three friends died in a car accident....and they all went up to the heaven,they had an orientation there~They were all asked "What would you like to hear from your family on the funeral????"

The first man said:"I would like to hear them saying I was a great scientist of my time...."

The second man went on:"I would like them to say I was a wonderful man.."

Guess what the third replied???

:"i would like them to say "Look,he's moving!!!!":amuse

[Herlene]

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

[Gabrielle90]

Memory Problems

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"

[Gabrielle90]

Meaning Of Names

An Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?

"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied. He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son... "Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"

[Gabrielle90]

Best Quality

A wife asked her husband: ?What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body??
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ?your
sense of humor?.

[Gabrielle90]

Harry's Exam

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too

smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter

than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry

waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and

behave.

She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed

to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to
the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

"Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What's a start with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and

delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,

Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of

heat and excitement?

Harry: Fire truck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

[vimal06]

Harry's Exam

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too

smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter

than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry

waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.

The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and

behave.

She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed

to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know.

The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to
the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

"Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: What's a start with a C and ends with a T is hairy, oval, and

delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Harry: Coconut

Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,

Harry was taking charge.

Harry: Bubblegum

Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a
dog do on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: Shake hands

Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?

Harry: Yep.

Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Harry: Tent

Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: Wedding Ring

Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Harry: Nose

Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Harry: Arrow

Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of

heat and excitement?

Harry: Fire truck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

Very good joke.. haha

[youngyew]

Time for a medical joke:

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital,
The Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, ?Over my dead body?,
while the Pediatricians said, ?Oh, Grow up!?
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
The Radiologists could see right through it,
and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists though it was a bitter pill to swallow,
and the Plastic Surgeons said, ?This puts a whole new face on the matter.?
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,
but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn?t hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn?t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration????..

[Caprio]

Best Quality

A wife asked her husband: ?What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body??
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ?your
sense of humor?.

LOL.

A good one here.

[Herlene]

Here's another joke

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

[extreme]

women as explained by engineer

70

71

72

73

[Danial]

women as explained by engineer

70

71

72

73

Haha...this is a good one..

[abuzar]

very true.very funny

[nhling]

Subject: Three things certain in life

The madam opened the brothel door in Hulery Wisconsin and saw a
rather dignified,
well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

'May I help you sir?'! She asked.

'I'd like to see Valerie,' the man replied.

'Sir, I must warn you Valerie is our most expensive lady. Perhaps you
would prefer someone else', said the madam.

'No, I insist I want to see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged
$5000 a visit.

Without batting an eye, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and
gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row
as she was too expensive. And there were no discounts. The price was
still $5000.

Again, the man whipped out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they
went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded
that he'd come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and
they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man, 'No one has ever been
with me three nights in a row.
Who are you and where are you from?' she asked.

The man replied, ' St Paul Minnesota'.

'Really', she said. 'I have family in St Paul.

'I know,' the man said.

'Your aunt Martha died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give
youyour $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer