roy
08-08-2005, 08:54 AM
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big
Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood.
The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red
Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree
stump.
"My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood.
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. Some distance further down the
track Little Red Riding Hood again encounters the Big Bad Wolf, this time
crouched behind a road sign.
"My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf", taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you fuck off,
I'm trying to take a shit !"
===============================================
A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an
aspirin down his wife's throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells,
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"Just giving you an aspirin for your headache." The bloke answered.
"But I ain't got a headache," she yelled back.
"Good then, Lets fuck!" said the bloke.
===============================================
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde:
That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: (
looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
===============================================
A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket, then headed
for the express line. The clerk had his back turned to her, so
she said, "Excuse me young man, I'm in a hurry. Could you
check me out, please?"
The clerk turned around, looked her up and down and said,
"Nice tits lady."
===============================================
An enterprising, but bashful sailor finds himself on shore
leave in Korea for his first time. While the rest of the guys
are out having a jolly good time in the red light district of
Pusan, our hero just can't get up the nerve to ask the local
girls how much it costs for a good time.
He sits at his table for a moment watching the girls, and
devises a get laid plan.
One of the local girls approaches him and asks, "Wat is you
name?"
He replies, "Rick Venus"
She says, "Lick Penus?"
He says, "Sure how much?"
===============================================
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San
Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.
After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the
dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite.
The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza
parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his
colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place
and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all
conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 3 cases of
soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the
front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to
the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: We?ve collected a pool of cash.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: Yes.
Pizza Man: With guns?
Agent: That's right. Now, can you remember to bring the pizzas
and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front
doors locked.
Pizza Man: No fuckin? way.
===============================================
Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood.
The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red
Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree
stump.
"My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood.
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. Some distance further down the
track Little Red Riding Hood again encounters the Big Bad Wolf, this time
crouched behind a road sign.
"My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf", taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you fuck off,
I'm trying to take a shit !"
===============================================
A bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over and shoves an
aspirin down his wife's throat. All of a sudden she wakes up and yells,
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"Just giving you an aspirin for your headache." The bloke answered.
"But I ain't got a headache," she yelled back.
"Good then, Lets fuck!" said the bloke.
===============================================
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row! Blonde:
That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: (
looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
===============================================
A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket, then headed
for the express line. The clerk had his back turned to her, so
she said, "Excuse me young man, I'm in a hurry. Could you
check me out, please?"
The clerk turned around, looked her up and down and said,
"Nice tits lady."
===============================================
An enterprising, but bashful sailor finds himself on shore
leave in Korea for his first time. While the rest of the guys
are out having a jolly good time in the red light district of
Pusan, our hero just can't get up the nerve to ask the local
girls how much it costs for a good time.
He sits at his table for a moment watching the girls, and
devises a get laid plan.
One of the local girls approaches him and asks, "Wat is you
name?"
He replies, "Rick Venus"
She says, "Lick Penus?"
He says, "Sure how much?"
===============================================
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San
Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.
After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the
dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite.
The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza
parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his
colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place
and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all
conversations at the hospital.
Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 3 cases of
soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the
front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to
the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: We?ve collected a pool of cash.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: Yes.
Pizza Man: With guns?
Agent: That's right. Now, can you remember to bring the pizzas
and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front
doors locked.
Pizza Man: No fuckin? way.
===============================================