PeiWen
02-03-2004, 09:51 PM
Me return again with more jokes I read ....share with you all... :wink:
Very bad deed
---------------------------------
One day, three nuns were complaining to the priest that
they did not want to be nuns anymore. The priest told them
that in order to seceed from being a nun, they had to do a
bad deed.
So the first nun did a bad deed and went back to the holy
water and said, "I robbed a bank." Then she drank the holy
water for the last time.
The second nun did a bad deed and went back to the holy
water and said, "I killed my parents." She then drank
the holy water.
The third nun went to the holy water and said, "Before
the other two drank the holy water I peed in it!"
She then trotted off happily.
Importance of Proper punctuation
---------------------------------
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me
for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings
whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--
will you let me be yours?
Gloria
<< now if we write with wrong punctuations,
the touching letter above changes to... >>
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like
you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have
ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have
no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be
forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria
Newspaper mistake...
---------------------------------
<< The following are ads from a real-life newspaper which
appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly
trying to correct the first day's mistake... >>
MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for
sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for
Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in R. D. Jones' ad
yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine
for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs.
Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."
WEDNESDAY: Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has
received several annoying telephone calls
because of the error we made in the classified
ad. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale
-- R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale.
Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for
Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."
THURSDAY: Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine
for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as
I have had the phone disconnected. I have not
been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday
she was my housekeeper but she quit!
Very bad deed
---------------------------------
One day, three nuns were complaining to the priest that
they did not want to be nuns anymore. The priest told them
that in order to seceed from being a nun, they had to do a
bad deed.
So the first nun did a bad deed and went back to the holy
water and said, "I robbed a bank." Then she drank the holy
water for the last time.
The second nun did a bad deed and went back to the holy
water and said, "I killed my parents." She then drank
the holy water.
The third nun went to the holy water and said, "Before
the other two drank the holy water I peed in it!"
She then trotted off happily.
Importance of Proper punctuation
---------------------------------
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me
for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings
whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--
will you let me be yours?
Gloria
<< now if we write with wrong punctuations,
the touching letter above changes to... >>
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like
you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have
ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have
no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be
forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria
Newspaper mistake...
---------------------------------
<< The following are ads from a real-life newspaper which
appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly
trying to correct the first day's mistake... >>
MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for
sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for
Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in R. D. Jones' ad
yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine
for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs.
Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."
WEDNESDAY: Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has
received several annoying telephone calls
because of the error we made in the classified
ad. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale
-- R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale.
Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for
Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."
THURSDAY: Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine
for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as
I have had the phone disconnected. I have not
been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday
she was my housekeeper but she quit!