JeAlouSy

[Ic3b3rg]

Jealousy is a dangerous feeling.....or is it? :?: :roll:
I posted the following topic.....just food for thought......as we go on with our hectic lives...... :wink:

The Window
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should he have all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything?

It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and he found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now there was only silence ----- deathly silence.

The following morning the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take it away -- no works, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after make sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

.... Authors: Gregg Langill and Jon Antallmi, 1985

[ElansarGelmir]

Wah... Quite a scary story also arr ..... Jealousy is dangerous indeed... Haha, Make sure no one is jealous of your getting Stanford, Iceberg!!!

[naturesimple]

jealousy is a natural felling in homosapiens...it just depends on how deep that feeling is n how 1 to control it.

[tree007]

Make sure no one is jealous of your getting Stanford, Iceberg!!!


wah.... perfect grammar... :P

[chiunlin]

Make sure no one is jealous of your getting Stanford, Iceberg!!!

I don't think it's possible for you to control other people's feelings. Jealousy is bound to arise anyway.

Jealousy is dangerous indeed

I don't deny that but it all depends on how you control it. Mainly, there are two responses to the feeling of jealousy. The first type of people are like the man in the story while the second type are those who utilize the jealousy as a source of motivation to achieve greater heights.

Besides, I have long been a victim of jealousy to know that it isn't worth it to feel jealous. The negative emotions, the frustrations and the hatred won't make you a better person.

[lonewolfhan]

Wahh.. quite an interesting story.. but i think i have predicted correctly how the ending will be when i read the first feparagraphs..

BUT... its really scary when the stupid man did not call for help but looking at his frens DYING !!! hmm... How can a human be so selfish ?? i think i dun have the courage to see someone dying in front of me... i hope this wont happen to me... :roll:

Hmm.. jealousy.. its danger indeed.... i was one of the victims.. hehe..

[zAiTsEv]

the way elansargelmir put his words indirectly showed that he 's jealous.

[jagganatha]

Ha ha good one..are you elansar :?: :?:

[SpRInG]

well, i agree taht jealousy can be a very dangerous feeling... but, however hard we try, we can't avoid this feeling from interfering with our lives.....

y? even if we can control our own jealousy, we cant' control other's jealousy upon us....

but, for me, jealousy can sometiems be good, in the form of envy, where we can be motivated to achieve somehting great, greater than what others have achieved

[ElansarGelmir]

Hey, i'm not jealous lar, coz i didn't apply to Stanford. Hmmm... envious is an inevitable feeling when all ur friends got into the top-notch uni and u are stuck in a no where suburb uni. Hehe, but definitely not JEALOUS.

[Randomphantom]

Ending from http://www.storybin.com/sponsor/sponsor147.shtml

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

[ElansarGelmir]

Besides, I have long been a victim of jealousy to know that it isn't worth it to feel jealous. The negative emotions, the frustrations and the hatred won't make you a better person.

Hmm.... how do you know that? Kena backstabbed like the old man by the window?

[chiunlin]

What do you mean by how do you know that? How do I know what? You seem to be questioning how do I know that I have long been a victim of jealousy...

I would have argued with you if you asked the same question months ago but I don't feel like it now ... perhaps one day I would let you read the journals written in the first sem...

[Ic3b3rg]

erm... elansar i think u asked a very personal question

[wawa]

Jealousy is natural, especially of people who are luckier or possess something we don't have. Its the negative REACTION towards jealousy that's scary, I think, esp people who are more destructive like the guy in the story.

[Ic3b3rg]

i wish and pray everyday that i will have the strength not to succumb to jealousy......and the awareness of all that i have been blessed with

[ElansarGelmir]

i wish and pray everyday that i will have the strength not to succumb to jealousy......and the awareness of all that i have been blessed with

Or not to succumb to becoming the victim of jealousy? :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

[chiunlin]

Or not to succumb to becoming the victim of jealousy?

That's not possible at all unless you become a beggar(there are still people who are jealous at their income and way of living) or an idiot(there are also people who are jealous that idiots have no worries and don't need to work) or become a hermit at a very secluded spot and cut yourself totally from civilization(No one will know where you are so no one can be jealous of you).

[BioTEch_GizMo]

Oh...well guys... i'm one of the lethal effects of jealousy... While i was in form 1 , 2, and 3, jealousy, anger and a lot of other emotions took control of me. Right now it's still there but i control it... It's hard but i figured that if i dun get jealousy controlled, i'll ruin my life because of it. So no matter what, never let jealousy control you... i've tasted the negative effects and i dun wan the rest of you to taste it too. :)

[ElansarGelmir]

Oh...well guys... i'm one of the lethal effects of jealousy... While i was in form 1 , 2, and 3, jealousy, anger and a lot of other emotions took control of me. Right now it's still there but i control it... It's hard but i figured that if i dun get jealousy controlled, i'll ruin my life because of it. So no matter what, never let jealousy control you... i've tasted the negative effects and i dun wan the rest of you to taste it too. :)

Hmm... i have to clarify something... What if your neighbor got a new jaguar, and you said to your self, "Boy, she's lucky."
Now, is that jealousy or envious?

[Ic3b3rg]

Oh...well guys... i'm one of the lethal effects of jealousy... While i was in form 1 , 2, and 3, jealousy, anger and a lot of other emotions took control of me. Right now it's still there but i control it... It's hard but i figured that if i dun get jealousy controlled, i'll ruin my life because of it. So no matter what, never let jealousy control you... i've tasted the negative effects and i dun wan the rest of you to taste it too. :)

UNBELIEVABLE!!! seriously, biotech.... i never would have guessed.... u seemed so calm... .like u never get jealous or angry before.... i salute u lar....

[BioTEch_GizMo]

Hmm... i have to clarify something... What if your neighbor got a new jaguar, and you said to your self, "Boy, she's lucky."
Now, is that jealousy or envious?

Haha..I'm no expert on jealousy...but then IMHO, that statement is supposed to be a lower degree of envy...in fact might be the lowest degree. A higher degree of envy would produce a statement sounding like this, "Boy, she's lucky, wished i could be like her" and an even higher degree: " Boy, she's lucky, wished i could be like her. Well, if she can i can", and another notch: "Boy, she's lucky, wished i could be like her. Well, if she can i can. Wait but if i really cant i think i really would like that car of hers." and on and on it goes.

It's just how far we let these envious feelings go (1st degree, 2nd degree, 3rd degree) and if we let it go out of control, we'll turn into envious beings that i would rather define as animals. Remember lions? They see a female lion with cubs, without the male lion around so they will mate with the female lion and kill off the cubs, or whichever one comes 1st.

Umm...another opinion of mine... how to differentiate envy and jealousy. Well, envy is when you see what a person has and you wished you had the same. Jealousy is when envy gets out of hand, and it's like seeing what a person has and wanting to have it and wishing evil on a person so that he/she might die and her possesions will go to you. Umm sth like what yee lyn's 1st post was.

My beloved 'lil sis....there are lots of things you dunno bout me...haha... it's hard to tell from the surface aint that true? Yes, jealousy is still in my blood but i try to 'lower the blood pressure' lol....

[Ic3b3rg]

My beloved 'lil sis....there are lots of things you dunno bout me...haha... it's hard to tell from the surface aint that true? Yes, jealousy is still in my blood but i try to 'lower the blood pressure' lol....

8O 8O 8O 8O erm... getting more and more frightened... gulp... u sure u not dangerous, big brother?? :D

[pandaboy]

My beloved 'lil sis....there are lots of things you dunno bout me...haha... it's hard to tell from the surface aint that true? Yes, jealousy is still in my blood but i try to 'lower the blood pressure' lol....

8O 8O 8O 8O erm... getting more and more frightened... gulp... u sure u not dangerous, big brother?? :D

he's pointing a gun at u there...and he said he's not jealous...Do u think he's not dangerous? :lol:

[Ic3b3rg]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....

[pandaboy]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....

not scared la...u cant eat me up....cos my head is too big..haha

[b_ronick]

in response to the initial question of this thread...
the story was really interesting and it is quite sad and terifying to see how jealousy can turn a person to be selfish but that is what happens in real life..
there is a thin line between envy and jealousy altho i can't really tell which of the two is the positive one...
jealousy and envy can turn out to be dangerous if taken too far..
sometimes the feeling of wanting to be as successful or other situations such as wanting something, it is good to motivate someone to work harder to reach that aim..
but when that becomes an obsession, the situation will turn ugly and in turn becomes really dangerous..
this is when jealousy starts to take over one's mind...
it is scary how one emotion can overpower the mind...

[ElansarGelmir]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....
Yalar, pandaboy...
In order to make us not JEALOUS of you, share with us how u can have an avatar so big?

[b_ronick]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....
Yalar, pandaboy...
In order to make us not JEALOUS of you, share with us how u can have an avatar so big?

you guys are pretty funny..but hey i wanna know too!! :oops: :lol: :lol:

[ElansarGelmir]

it is scary how one emotion can overpower the mind...

I think it's the mind that sparks the emotion. You start with saying, "He's lucky". Who said that? Your mind, of course. Next, you start wondering, "How I wish i could have that." Who wondered that? your mind. Then, you found yourself thinking, "How come he gets it and i don't?" WHo think of that? Your mind! Unless you are anologying mind to conscience?

[b_ronick]

it is scary how one emotion can overpower the mind...

I think it's the mind that sparks the emotion. You start with saying, "He's lucky". Who said that? Your mind, of course. Next, you start wondering, "How I wish i could have that." Who wondered that? your mind. Then, you found yourself thinking, "How come he gets it and i don't?" WHo think of that? Your mind! Unless you are anologying mind to conscience?

i can't deny it is the mind so what you have mentioned...but emotions can cloud one's mind and causes the mind to not think practically and logically..not to think straight and all..
that is how emotions can overpower the mind...

[ElansarGelmir]

it is scary how one emotion can overpower the mind...

I think it's the mind that sparks the emotion. You start with saying, "He's lucky". Who said that? Your mind, of course. Next, you start wondering, "How I wish i could have that." Who wondered that? your mind. Then, you found yourself thinking, "How come he gets it and i don't?" WHo think of that? Your mind! Unless you are anologying mind to conscience?

i can't deny it is the mind so what you have mentioned...but emotions can cloud one's mind and causes the mind to not think practically and logically..not to think straight and all..
that is how emotions can overpower the mind...

Hehe..... So how to eradicate this ugly emotion?


I like this Sunday School hym....

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Remember Christ has promised his wealth untold,
Count your blessings - money cannot buy,
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

Count your blessings - name them one by one,
Count your blessings - see what God has done;
Count your blessings - name them one by one:
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

Hmm........ Actually i dun even have to count my blessings. Just think of this hym, then my envy will fade liao......

[pandaboy]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....
Yalar, pandaboy...
In order to make us not JEALOUS of you, share with us how u can have an avatar so big?

you guys are pretty funny..but hey i wanna know too!! :oops: :lol: :lol:

Elansir...i tot i told u before??
Okie la....out of topic....(hope tak kena sound by the others here...hehe)...
Why my avatar is big? Cos i uploaded the pic to a website and then link to it here... the pic is of actual size...so if u wan bigger pics..upload bigger pic to another website and link to it here...and u will cover the whole page with ur avatar...haha...Oops...i teach the bad things...dont try this at RECOM!! OR else u get deleted then dun come and look for me ya...

[ElansarGelmir]

heehee.... pandaboy i am JEALOUS cos ur avatar so big... scared?? haha....
Yalar, pandaboy...
In order to make us not JEALOUS of you, share with us how u can have an avatar so big?

you guys are pretty funny..but hey i wanna know too!! :oops: :lol: :lol:

Elansir...i tot i told u before??
Okie la....out of topic....(hope tak kena sound by the others here...hehe)...
Why my avatar is big? Cos i uploaded the pic to a website and then link to it here... the pic is of actual size...so if u wan bigger pics..upload bigger pic to another website and link to it here...and u will cover the whole page with ur avatar...haha...Oops...i teach the bad things...dont try this at RECOM!! OR else u get deleted then dun come and look for me ya...

I remembered asking you before, but didn't realize that you answered it. Sorry, and thanks... Hehe, but i think i'm lazy to upload it on a website. Animation can arr?

[Ic3b3rg]

what do you do to counter jealousy.....? i know elansar said that we should count our blessings.... any other suggestions?

[pandaboy]

I remembered asking you before, but didn't realize that you answered it. Sorry, and thanks... Hehe, but i think i'm lazy to upload it on a website. Animation can arr?

ya...i answered it....in the end kena sound by chenchow cos we are chatting about this in the wrong topic thread....about animations...i'm not sure, but i think can...

what do you do to counter jealousy.....? i know elansar said that we should count our blessings.... any other suggestions?

how to counter? I think depends on certain situations... Like for example, ur neighbour bought a super nice new car....and u r jealous about it. So why don u ask him how did he got the car? Probably he work day and night ...until separuh mati only can afford to buy the car while u laze around at home..work oni 5 hours a day. So u will know that u arent suppose to feel jealous....since he worked hard for it...
Another example.....if ur gf/bf talk to a person of opposite sex....u feel jealous....then just walk away to avoid the jealousy to build up....We cant control our gf/bf social life right? they have their freedom too.... So...i think that is the easiest way to tackle this lor... Btw, that is wat i did la....haha... and it works ^_*

[Ic3b3rg]

yeah.... walking away to cool off seems to be the best solution for me.... i mean... i try not to let the feeling harbor in my heart... hehe... must lar... if you have so many wonderful friends like my friends... all smart, friendly, cheerful... GREAT ppl.... hard not to get jealous....haha...

[ElansarGelmir]

ya...i answered it....in the end kena sound by chenchow cos we are chatting about this in the wrong topic thread....about animations...i'm not sure, but i think can...

how to counter? I think depends on certain situations... Like for example, ur neighbour bought a super nice new car....and u r jealous about it. So why don u ask him how did he got the car? Probably he work day and night ...until separuh mati only can afford to buy the car while u laze around at home..work oni 5 hours a day. So u will know that u arent suppose to feel jealous....since he worked hard for it...


No. 1 Sorry pandaboy for that. Now feel a little guilty... Sorry arr...

No. 2 What if you work very hard, put in more effort than your neighbor does while your neighbor doesn't have to lift a finger and yet he can still buy the car coz he's lucky to get other source of money, or maybe he won the car in a competition? Hmmm... Hard to control that not only jealous feeling, but anger as well. Haha.... Angry that the world's unfair... But what to do? The world's memang unfair one mah... I'll resort to singing my song. Hehe...

[pandaboy]

No. 1 Sorry pandaboy for that. Now feel a little guilty... Sorry arr...

No. 2 What if you work very hard, put in more effort than your neighbor does while your neighbor doesn't have to lift a finger and yet he can still buy the car coz he's lucky to get other source of money, or maybe he won the car in a competition? Hmmm... Hard to control that not only jealous feeling, but anger as well. Haha.... Angry that the world's unfair... But what to do? The world's memang unfair one mah... I'll resort to singing my song. Hehe...

reply to no 1: nvm.... it's ok...

reply to no 2: Wah..seemed like ur feelings are a bit....or maybe...very wrong la. If the neighbour is lucky, then u cant blame him too. It's his luck. If u have no luck, u cant blame the lucky ones. It's very important to control the feeling of jealousy and anger...as these two are very dangerous to human. Some even ended up being a "murderer" due to these feelings....just like the story by Ic3b3rg. And by they way....the real world is very cruel indeed. We cant change it...^_^ we can only face it with all our courage..

[ElansarGelmir]

all smart, friendly, cheerful... GREAT ppl.... hard not to get jealous....haha...

haha... U're one of the great ppl in ATU wert.

[SpRInG]

what do you do to counter jealousy.....? i know elansar said that we should count our blessings.... any other suggestions?

hehe, for me, it's actually we ourselves loor.. counter jealousy, first of all, we need to know why is it there... is it because we are not satisfied that other people do better than we do? Other people have things better than we have? If it falls to those category, i think it should be our mindset that we should change. Why do we want to be jealous of other people because of what they have? If we really want it, why don't we work for it?

Count our blessings, yea, that can be a good way too =)

[b_ronick]

jealousy as i said is quite difficult to control..
i guess one way that you can control if it concerns talents or someone is somehow better than you or something, you can always look at the positive side of things, meaning to say look at what that you have that you can be proud of..the traits that you have..sometimes you may not have some qualities that you see in others and you are envious but if you take some time to look and ponder about it, you on the other hand have something special that that someone does not have...in a way it is like counting your blessings..

and about other things maybe material things that you may be jealous of, you look at other aspect of things that they may have something that makes you feel jealous of him/her, he/she might lose out in someway to you in the sense that you have with you some other things that are more precious than what they have...
i guess trying to look at the brighter side of things would be the answer..

i heard once someone said that it doesn't hurt to look at the brighter sides of things...

i know it's easier said than done..that is undeniable..but it is worth a try..

[ElansarGelmir]

Why do we want to be jealous of other people because of what they have?

Coz we are born sinners? I think the feeling's a little inevitable lor, but as u'd mentioned, we must suppress the feeling, or at least control it.

[trishotiwuth]

We often become green eyed monsters without even realizing it. How many times have you looked at a friend and wished you were as pretty? How many times have you looked at others and wished you were as smart? How many times have you looked at celebrities and wished you were as talented? As lucky? As gifted? Envy and jealousy are natural characteristics of human beings. They are difficult to run away from.

[topdog]

meh i get jealous just looking at myself.:D

[trishotiwuth]

meh i get jealous just looking at myself.:D

I see you have very high self- esteem...hehehehe

[ElansarGelmir]

meh i get jealous just looking at myself.:D

N.A.R.C.I.S.S.I.S.T.

[PeiWen]

They said, jealousy between 2 women or among women, especially towards a man is really scary! I wonder how true is that. Most of the people have the concensus that women are easily jealous than men. Anyone thinks the opposite?

[__earth]

meh i get jealous just looking at myself.:D

N.A.R.C.I.S.S.I.S.T.

i can't stop laughing.

[budakkerek]

actually, i do agree w dat..i mean, gurls usually go all out to get back at some other gurl esp in things berkenaan guys..Like mebbe a girl rampas a guy her best friend is eyeing..it'll be like the most scariest thing...both gurls will be like, trying to get at each other's throat....You guys should read "career Gurls"..it's bout this..heheh..the things they do to each other..like..real crazy...mean also..heh

[ElansarGelmir]

I think (from dramas and stuffs), the worst part of betrayal for women is you tell your best friend who your crush is, and the next month, you see your best friend and your crush kissing... I say, that's an unhealthy competition.

[__earth]

I think (from dramas and stuffs), the worst part of betrayal for women is you tell your best friend who your crush is, and the next month, you see your best friend and your crush kissing... I say, that's an unhealthy competition.

i rather disagree. In economics, that's competitive market. LOL!

[ElansarGelmir]

Hmm... I mean, if this girl tells her best friend about her crush, and if her best friend happens to like the guy too, then might have as well tell the girl about that so that they can compete fairly. I will say maybe that friend is a little kia su. She has the advantage to herself - she knows that her best friend(who happens to be her rival)'s secret...

[__earth]

i know wym. i was just j/k.

[pandaboy]

Hmm... I mean, if this girl tells her best friend about her crush, and if her best friend happens to like the guy too, then might have as well tell the girl about that so that they can compete fairly. I will say maybe that friend is a little kia su. She has the advantage to herself - she knows that her best friend(who happens to be her rival)'s secret...

maybe the girl kept talking about the good things of the guy, so the best friend also fall in love with that guy.....and somehow ended up together with the guy?

[ElansarGelmir]

i know wym. i was just j/k.

Woops... Didn't realize that... Thought u were serious about that... Hehe... my mistake :oops:

[budakkerek]

haha..i once did that. There was this one guy, he's like kinda cute..my friend told me that she likes him..but nvr actually do anything to get to know him etc...So, me as you know...chatted him up...and last skali, jd friends la..but that's just it...hihihi..dont blame me..stimes i do that, just nak test power..hahah :wink:

[ElansarGelmir]

Haha, later he work his charm on you, and you are hooked, then you are dead... LOL!!!