~* Ups and Downs in Life

[iQing]

<img src=http://202.102.202.102/hillcat/book/jmzl/zouyou/zuoyou/10a.jpg>


We all have good times and bad times in life...
can you summerise your life and tell us the main ups and downs you face in your life?

In BTN I have learn to draw a life graph about our life ....
the graph goes high when our life in facing happy moments.. low when we are down...

[iQing]

I have read chenchows depiction about his life and I find that we share similar experience in life as well...

I would really love to say that my life has many stages and each of them is drastically different.

I am greatful tp say that my childhood memory still remains well.
When I was a young boy I am very interested to learn things in life. When I was two years old I was once in Pangkor island. I wondered how the sea was like and I try hard to walk aross the sea, thinking that I will reach the opposite shore (it?s Indonesia of course) ... luckily my brother stopped me...
when I was 3 years old I always ask my parents to send me to kindergarten because I just want to learn things and have fun. I was dissapointed when they say I was too young.

Being a young boy, I have a strange feeling. I feel that, I have not learn many words yet I can understand what adults say quite cleary... it?s strange. Do you guys have such feelings?

I remember when I am 6 years old I start to have serious self reflection on life... I always think questions like...

What am I when I am in standard 4? how will I feel 5 years later? what am I when I die? do I lost all my beautiful memories after my death? how to prevent myself from losing my identity and memory after death etc.

I started to learn music when I was 4 years old. it was hard for me because I was not doing something I want to do at the time so it?s quite boring.

Generally my childhood was so so (moderate). I didn?t do much and I didn?t travel much or meet many people. My companions are my plastic lego toys and Comics....

I shall continue sharing my futher parts of life later...

For now have fun guys!!!!

[ElansarGelmir]

Sorry, but i thought iQing was a girl... Sorry....

Well, i believe that sometimes we are used to getting blessings in our lives that we take so much for granted and when one day they stopped coming, we thought that we are experiencing the downside of life.

Everyday is a bliss. Things happen for reasons. And it's up to us to look from which angle.


when I was 3 years old I always ask my parents to send me to kindergarten because I just want to learn things and have fun. I was dissapointed when they say I was too young.

I guess that most Asian parents are still the conventional type of people. My parents are one of the examples as well. Always measures me by my age, telling me what i should do at this age, like others do, and blah blah. It's not that it's bad, but i find it hard to express myself since young. Perhaps that's why until today i still find it a little difficult to learn about who i am. [/quote]

[iQing]

EG, I agree with u regarding the asian parents.
My mother have been controling my life for a long time.
because of my limited freedom to learn things by myself, I start to cycle only when I was 17. I start driving at the age of 21. Kinda frustrating eh?
but that?s just a part of it.


here?s a brief summary of my life...


*childhood
- kindergarten life
not so interesting. always kena rotan by my parents. I was active and naugthy

*primary school
- I was doing not so good academically. I was very inactive. life is so so

* secondary school (until PMR)
- same.. inactive in activities
- I have a lot of tuition. esp in Kasturi since form one. From tuition I meet a lot of people.
- I am doing very well academically. I was from then onwards one of the top scorers in my form. (good at study but not so brilliant + wise in life)
- Physically I was considered one of the weakest guy in my class.
- I am still not so socially active... besides my tuition life where I have friends. I can get along well with my tuition teachers.
- this is the stage of life where I started to read a lot of books. I start to read a lot of buddhist and spiritual + new age books. I have the will to find out the truth in life. maybe I was trying to escape my life at that time?
- I consider this stage of my life as positive (improving, going up)


* secondary school (until SPM)
- I started to join activities like chess clubs, pengawas. yet I am still not the active one.
- since I was one of the top scorers, I was always picked to join inter school competition (academical competition). I gain some exposure from there. but it?s still not sufficient for my personal growth.
- I have improved tremendiously in my physical form since I join selangor wushu team. I trained very hard and manage to join SUKMA. Physicalwise I am one of the strongest students in my school.
- Academically I am now the top students. I got the highest score for 6 subjects during my SPM years.. it?s considered the peak...
- I have improved a bit socially and started to communicate more.
- This stage of life is up stage...

----------------

comparing SPM and PMR stage :

- I improve a lot Physically
- academically
- socially
- amount of exposure
- fame


----------------------

* College life in INTI, Nilai
- this is the peak of my life.. honest
- Academically I am best in my course
- Socially I am popular amongst my friends.
- I become active and join many society
- I gain exposure by going to many seminars.. (peers influence i think)
- I met 2 great friends : wai hong and dennis (1st spirit) where I gain very strong motivation in life
- I become very eager to learn things
- Physically I am not as good as previous stage as I have stopped my training.
- Overall I am happy with this stage of life

* Life in INTEC
- This is the turning point where my life go downwards
- Socially ill. People in INTEC, cemara akasia are very different from colege students.. my college friends say so too. some coursemates are nasty and demotivating.
- INTEC has poor exposure. as an ALG full time student I don?t have much time to get involve in this things.
- Physically I become stronger as I start to do body building and I jogged regulary.
- My love life begins in this stage. But it?s hurtful as I seldom meet my gf.
- Academically although I am strong but I have no interest on what I was learning (A Level), German, Islam.
- The food is not my cup of tea.
- The place is quite rural... hmmm...
- The positive site of this stage of life is that I read the most during my INTEC life. I remember last time I bought around 6 books per week until my parents get angry.. funny thing is that they try to limit my reading habits.
- My social network expand via internet because I am active in managing online community.
- My co curiculum activities? I would say it?s my reading society where I got to meet some intelects every month. We discuss about books with higher intelectual/literatual level. I bring my friends to this reading society with me...


*Life in Germany
- I am still new here. no commend. I am still settling down....

that?s all for now...

[launa]

my mother is controlling very strict when i was young and that make me so social ill bacause i am basically at school or at home everyday unless my father take my family to jalan-jalan or shopping.

i think that my mother cares for me too much that i will get hurt easily. well, i am not tall and strong and some of my friends will buli me, but later when my mother know who is buli me, she will find the person and warn him. due to this, my friend call my mother the avenger.

just want to say out loud my feeling at here when i see iqing summary of life.

maybe more at childhood thread..............

[The_Observer]

I have to say...I went through a difficult, rather violent childhood.
But...looking back..I think I've learnt much more about life and the nature of man than most ppl would ever will.

Torture (mentally and physically), trauma..you name it.
Until now, I have yet to discover why ppl (children, for God's sake) can do such things to other ppl? Read: Lord of the Flies

I've been through a lot. I give you one incident: these ppl, for no reason, grabbed me head and heels...and threw me into the monsoon drain outside my primary school. It was full of greenish looking water and mud. And they laughed at me before leaving.
And these is only a snippet of what they have done over those 6 yrs...

Ever since entering secondary school..I vowed to myself never to be bullied again..I am determined to stand with my head high even if it may cost me my life. It made me what I am today. For good or for worse...I do not know but I can only hope and pray.

[Steppe]

Did your parents know what happened then and tried to help you out, perhaps like sending and fetching you etc to and from school? Maybe, it is difficult to do that in the city.

In small town, our parents send and fetch us. Once my sister got bullied by a big boy in the class and my sister kept quiet. My father noticed the bruise on the heel. The next day, my father 'confronted' the boy nicely and asked him why he kicked my sister and had anice but stern talk with him. Since then, he never did it again.

[pandaboy]

Er...ups and downs rite? But this thread sounded a lot about childhood days. :P

Talking about down parts of my life, I think last year was quite a bad year for me. I was rejected by the girl I like, lost her as a fren, failed my driving test 3 times, lonely in college cos no old frens there and my grandma passed away.

But, late last year, I managed to make fren again with the girl who rejected me. She avoided me for 7 months, and I'm glad to have her as my friend again, though we are not that close as before.

Managed to passed my driving test the 4th time I took it. I didnt bribe the officer at all. My parents told me that I should get the licence all with my own effort. But I think I failed not because of my mistakes. Hmm...anyway, I managed to get my driving licence at last, with my own effort.

The ups? I think that's when my SPM result was released. Was so happy that I managed to get such a good result. Although I didnt get straight A1's, but I'm already satisfied.

Seemed like I dont have many happy moments.... more of sad moments.

[ElansarGelmir]

I didnt bribe the officer at all.

u dun have to lar... the driving center will do for u... anyway, at least u passed last year. I took my test in April this year, and a week after i passed, i got my CDL already :lol:

Hmmm.... My parents are so strict about whom i meet that until today, i'm quite lazy to go out with my friends when i'm back at home... got to report to them whom i go out with, how many of us, where did we go, how are we going, what time i will be back, what are we going to do there, blah blah blah..... wah, very siong eh!

[wpyeoh]

I don't know if I can say that my parents are strict...but they do make sure they know where I'm going, who I'm going with , etc. The good thing is that they don't restrict me much; I can usually get permission to go out quite easily.

[pandaboy]

I didnt bribe the officer at all.

u dun have to lar... the driving center will do for u... anyway, at least u passed last year. I took my test in April this year, and a week after i passed, i got my CDL already :lol:

Yeah, u need to pay the driving center the bribe la. Then they will pay the officer. The officer wont take bribe directly from us la, they are very smart nowadays. So there'll be no proof that they accept bribes from us. Btw, they really earn a lot from the bribes, I believe. Seems like there are so many ppl taking the test every week. :twisted:

Hmmm.... My parents are so strict about whom i meet that until today, i'm quite lazy to go out with my friends when i'm back at home... got to report to them whom i go out with, how many of us, where did we go, how are we going, what time i will be back, what are we going to do there, blah blah blah..... wah, very siong eh!

This shows that they care about you. If u feel bad about this, just think of those kids whose parents are always away from home. Those parents who work till late night everyday, and left very early in the morning to work. They will wish... if only their parents will talk to them, ask them about their schoolwork, who they went out with and etc. And there are other worse situations, like those orphans who dont have parents. Arent their situation is much worse? So we should be grateful to still have parents that care for us so much.



I don't know if I can say that my parents are strict...but they do make sure they know where I'm going, who I'm going with , etc. The good thing is that they don't restrict me much; I can usually get permission to go out quite easily.

My parents are pretty much like urs. :wink: But I'm really happy to have them as my parents. They're the most sporting parents in the whole wide world. Hehe...Glad to have them.

[ElansarGelmir]

Hahaha... ya lor... i think that they are over protective... By the way, the name's Elansar, not Elansir... iQing always mispells... Hope that u are not influenced by his spelling...

[pandaboy]

Hahaha... ya lor... i think that they are over protective... By the way, the name's Elansar, not Elansir... iQing always mispells... Hope that u are not influenced by his spelling...

Haha...yeah. Sorry, always confused between Elansar and Elansir. Should call u Sher Mern instead. :P

[ElansarGelmir]

Still the same. Gelmir Elensar is Sherman in Elvish... hehe...

That day during INTEC convocation, can't believe that i still cried..... It's one of the saddest day (besides leaving my friends in Singapore).

[Ic3b3rg]

sad cos we may never c each other again....but more so because we know that our days together as a bunch of friends are over....from now on it will be a one to one basis.... and we wont have so many activities together.... so have less things to talk about...

[tree007]

awww.. graduation...

i guess so far the only down part in my life is parting with teh ones i've gotten so comfortable n close to..

primary skool... part..
secondary skool.... part..
INTI.... part..
n now.. INTEC>.. part....

sigh.. so sad.... wouldn't it be nice if we could all be together 4eva?
but then... i wouldn't get to meet new n exciting ppl.. like the rapid posting elve.... would i? :P

[PeiWen]

yea, it's always nice to meet new friends, new people. However, it has been more difficult to meet true and sincere friends. Most of my good friends are from secondary school or primary school. Ever since I've enetered University, I have to always on guard with whom I mingle with. I also tend to be more sceptic on the friends that approach me. It seems like majority are hypocrites and they come to you only if they think that you're worth in using, such as in some fields that they can take advantage of....that's very sad....

[Steppe]

It is true that most of our good friends are from primary and secondary school. I suppose the reason is we all grow up together in the same home town and play together, especially in the case of small town. In some cases, the parents know each other as well. The friendship developed here is over the number of years, 6 years or 11 years until Form 5.

When we go to college or university especially far away, the friends we met are from different places, different cultures, different backgrounds etc. We hardly know each other much. Also, as we have grown, I suppose everybody begins to think more for one's self etc. etc. In some cases, if one is not careful, one is being taken advantage of by the more cunning or calculating one.

That is why parents' advice now is to choose your friends wisely. Anyway, we are all groping and learning along the way. I suppose, part of growing up and learning in life.

[vseehua]

i agree with that...
when we're in primary and secondary , we make a lot of friends because we are sincere in our relationships....we have lots of time together to study, yum cha, play sports, doing projects of jus sitting there doin nth..bonds will be well forged here

when we get older by time, ppl will tend to have ulterior motives twhen they mix with others, esp in the business world.....

my mom always warn me abt the perils in putting too much trust in others...but so far, i consider myself lucky to meet with such nice friends here like Launa.....:) and many others

[pandaboy]

Here in the UK, I find it very difficult to mix with the local British people. Why? Because their lifestyle is all about drinking beer and alcohol...going to pubs and clubs. I would like to get to know them better, their culture and etc, but it's so difficult. And it's quite difficult to understand their accents too sometimes (like when two Brits are talking to each other, I can hardly catch what they are talking about). It's so weird right? I'm already facing such problems in English...I guess those who went to Germany, Korea, Japan and others must be in a more difficult situation than mine.

And ya, it's so difficult to find someone that can be treated as a buddy. I wish I can have one good buddy here, to share my ups and downs.

[weich]

hmm...which part of UK are you in pandaboy?

[pandaboy]

hmm...which part of UK are you in pandaboy?

I'm in Bristol, weich. Remember I asked for ur advice and everything before I came to the UK (in preparing to study in the UK thread)? :wink:

[oreo]

to be honest i have very few sincere friends in secondary...they like gossiping, and often misunderstand each other...i was even once backstabbed by my best friend... secondary school.. my darkest hour. I really hope i can find more good people to be friend with when i was in college..
and i found people here in this forum is very nice..it's touching!

[Ic3b3rg]

i guess adolescence is a period when we are still searching for ourselves and trying to identify ourselves through our interactions with other people. as a result of this putting our self-esteem upon other people's thoughts of us, we hurt others and ourselves a lot. Even though i feel that gossiping, misunderstandings, and backstabbings can leave very serious and permanent damage in another adolescent's life, i guess i always make a concession for the offenders. The reason for this is i believe that immaturity and self-insecurity play a large role in influencing these people's behavior. for those who have experienced the dark side of human relationships, i think their tasks should be to forgive themselves and realize that the event has got nothing to do with their own personality. to look beyond the immaturity of others and their own emotional vulnerability and to learn from this experiences. They can only attempt to heal this permanent damage by realizing how it has affected their lives and learn not to be hurt by friends....by not defining themselves with who their friends are. Thus they won't blame themselves for the immaturity of those around them but learn from these people......for behind each backstabbing, you can learn a little more about your own weakness or strength......(people backstab out of envy too) and improve your personality.

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you......Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it.

-Rudyard Kipling

i guess i shouldn't generalize and say that all adolescents are immature or all adults are mature....in fact i know of a lot of immature adults.....oh well, that is life....look beyond these petty human foibles and soar like an eagle to greater heights of human virtue.....(sorry, i am too influenced by plato's idealism....but i guess that is just me...everyone is entitled to their own level of idealism-realism.)

[nicodemus]

Ahh... Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If' :D

Very meaningful....

But if neither friends nor foes can hurt you...it's like you don't have a heart. Like a block of ice...cold and feelingless :?

Don't you think it's true?

[pandaboy]

Ahh... Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If' :D

Very meaningful....

But if neither friends nor foes can hurt you...it's like you don't have a heart. Like a block of ice...cold and feelingless :?

Don't you think it's true?

I get hurt rather easy....I wish I can be more carefree....I always take everyone's action too seriously. :roll: Even a small matter can affect my mood.

[weich]

hi pandaboy, I was in Bristol like 2 weeks ago....had a short visit there to see a friend & it was the 1st time in my life that I got called a 'Chink'...was walking around with my friends at night near the pubbing area near the river & there were like big groups of ppl walking past us saying things like 'Chink Chink Chink' and 'F***ing Asians'....never got that in London though....anyway, is that the main reason you feel you don't quite settle in yet?

Anyway, wish you luck & thanks again for volunteering for Internship ASIA =) Hopefully this can be used as a 'tool' for you to gain new friendships as well =)

[pandaboy]

hi pandaboy, I was in Bristol like 2 weeks ago....had a short visit there to see a friend & it was the 1st time in my life that I got called a 'Chink'...was walking around with my friends at night near the pubbing area near the river & there were like big groups of ppl walking past us saying things like 'Chink Chink Chink' and 'F***ing Asians'....never got that in London though....anyway, is that the main reason you feel you don't quite settle in yet?

Anyway, wish you luck & thanks again for volunteering for Internship ASIA =) Hopefully this can be used as a 'tool' for you to gain new friendships as well =)

Hey...how come you didn't tell me you came down to Bristol?

Hmm...I've never been in your situation before...I always avoid going out at night.....because I have this phobia with drunk people. But I can't hide the fact that I'm always worried about racism and stuffs......especially after what one academic staff did to me during a practical. He didnt help me at all, but helped the others, even when I asked questions to him...he just ask me to ask the others. Damn!

Btw, sorry if my participation level in IA is low...I'll try to be more active...currently my life is still very much in a mess.... :?

Anyway, thanks a lot for your good wishes! I really hope I can gain a lot from this forum and also IA.....

[nicodemus]

Ahh... Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If' :D

Very meaningful....

But if neither friends nor foes can hurt you...it's like you don't have a heart. Like a block of ice...cold and feelingless :?

Don't you think it's true?

I get hurt rather easy....I wish I can be more carefree....I always take everyone's action too seriously. :roll: Even a small matter can affect my mood.


Maybe you are just too sensitive... don't take everything too seriously, and just be calm and cool. :D

I used to be like you, pandaboy. But i learn to overcome it, and now tough sometimes i may be a little bit moody sometimes, i think i'm a better person than i'm before :D

Always think positive...!!

[pandaboy]

Maybe you are just too sensitive... don't take everything too seriously, and just be calm and cool. :D

I used to be like you, pandaboy. But i learn to overcome it, and now tough sometimes i may be a little bit moody sometimes, i think i'm a better person than i'm before :D

Always think positive...!!

You're right, I'm a sensitive guy. This is one more thing about me that's difficult to change.

[nicodemus]

Well...at least try to change it. Do not be over-sensitive. :D

[wpyeoh]

Well, here's an "up" in life...I just had a great Maths class! This teacher is always great, but today takes the cake...we were talking about schools to go to next year, he was asking us our choices...we really chatted a lot during the break...and one phrase that he said really cracked me up! He was teaching differential equations (I hope it's called that in English)...something like u''+u'+u=e^3 (for example, those who've learnt it will understand) and he said that the exponentials will disappear...
...but it's not because they're scared...

Imagine a teacher teaching and suddenly this phrase pops out of his mouth...really puts spice in the class! :D

[fizzy]

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