ReCom.org
Portal Page Forum Wiki Social Groups Scholarship Holders Infobase Site Map About
Go Back   ReCom.org > Forum > ReCom Cafe > ReCom Chat Forum

ReCom Chat Forum This is where you chat! As per new policy, all social messages e.g. "hey are you the cute guy sitting next to me in interview yesterday" MUST be posted here.

Girls confessing to guys.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Synxervious Male
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
Synxervious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 36
  #11 Old 03-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

@Dominic:

This is pretty interesting actually. In my opinion and based on my limited experience, gay guys tend to be far more forward than a lot of girls - I'm not sure if it's because they're guys and they're mostly subjected to that whole guys-must-make-the-first-move-regardless-of-what-happens, or that it's a function of necessity simply because since gay guys are fairly rare and it's hard to meet people otherwise... Maybe I only meet the damn forward ones just because they're so extroverted... But every single gay person I've known of and met is that type.

Hard to differentiate right whether people like you or want to get into your pants. I mean you know that game right? Marry kill and a third choice that I can't mention on this forum? As much as the third choice may seem like a godless and sinful option, marrying offers you the same thing - I mean as any guy with a girlfriend will tell you, platonicism isn't forever - Carnality is present in any healthy relationship, and 'friends with benefits' usually doesn't end well for the simple reason that people get attached to one another for whatever reason, even though those feelings might not be shared.
Synxervious is offline   Reply With Quote
nickvl
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
nickvl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 965
  #12 Old 03-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synxervious View Post
Yala, that's the point LOL. How to be in a relationship if you're clueless about each other's feelings? Can't read people's minds lol.
But yeah, I feel the same too, but a lot of girls just have this 'Tang Dynasty era view' of courtship, to quote my friend, so you have people who end up #foreveralone just because they're too afraid to face themselves and admit their feelings cause they always expect the guy to say he likes them first.

But seriously though, if you're a guy and you expect a girl to confess to you, then memang sorry la, odds are, you can wait a lifetime and never see it come to pass @_@



My apologies on behalf of all the stupid y-chromosome owning Martians like myself There's another issue though - If you know someone too well, then there's the risk of the friendzone - They might not even know that you like them until you go like SURPRISE! And they get creeped out cause they didn't know you felt that way.

I think a few months is OK though. I've heard stories of people who got together with people they met within a WEEK of heading to uni, and apparently it's not rare. -.-
For some weird reason or so, I think girls are more likely to be aware if a guy likes her more than a friend and that sometimes they may handle it by pretending not to know. The guys are usually the ones who get the SURPRISE! part. Of course this is just a generalisation so it doesn't apply to everyone.

Back to the topic; I think it's just a matter of personal preference. It shouldn't matter who makes the first move. Nevertheless, it probably sucks for the rejected party, regardless of gender.
nickvl is offline   Reply With Quote
Synxervious Male
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
Synxervious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 36
  #13 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickvl View Post
For some weird reason or so, I think girls are more likely to be aware if a guy likes her more than a friend and that sometimes they may handle it by pretending not to know. The guys are usually the ones who get the SURPRISE! part. Of course this is just a generalisation so it doesn't apply to everyone.

Back to the topic; I think it's just a matter of personal preference. It shouldn't matter who makes the first move. Nevertheless, it probably sucks for the rejected party, regardless of gender.
Pretending not to know works... Cause seriously, how would she start that conversation, anyway? LOL.
Synxervious is offline   Reply With Quote
solvedrubrik
Super Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 21
  #14 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

because this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
solvedrubrik is offline   Reply With Quote
Synxervious Male
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
Synxervious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 36
  #15 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by solvedrubrik View Post
I was under the impression that you'd post something related to spiders and the animal kingdom. Cause that's really very sad. Black widows bite off the heads of their husbands :S

I watched part 2 as well - And yeah it's true, guys usually don't surround themselves with girls that they're not interested in, just doesn't happen. LOL.
Synxervious is offline   Reply With Quote
Dominic Male
ReCom Staff
Wiki Contributor
ReMag Writer
 
Dominic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 853
  #16 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synxervious View Post
@Dominic:

This is pretty interesting actually. In my opinion and based on my limited experience, gay guys tend to be far more forward than a lot of girls - I'm not sure if it's because they're guys and they're mostly subjected to that whole guys-must-make-the-first-move-regardless-of-what-happens, or that it's a function of necessity simply because since gay guys are fairly rare and it's hard to meet people otherwise... Maybe I only meet the damn forward ones just because they're so extroverted... But every single gay person I've known of and met is that type.

Hard to differentiate right whether people like you or want to get into your pants. I mean you know that game right? Marry kill and a third choice that I can't mention on this forum? As much as the third choice may seem like a godless and sinful option, marrying offers you the same thing - I mean as any guy with a girlfriend will tell you, platonicism isn't forever - Carnality is present in any healthy relationship, and 'friends with benefits' usually doesn't end well for the simple reason that people get attached to one another for whatever reason, even though those feelings might not be shared.
I'm an introvert myself, so I definitely don't fit in that category. I know quite a number of gay guys and girls after living in Auckland for a year, and I have to say that not all of them are extroverted. Some are like myself, quiet and shy, while others are loud and boisterous. In Malaysia you probably only meet the forward ones, because the others might be scared to come out.

It's not too hard to tell the difference. Simply engage them in conversation, and see where it goes. Some guys immediately bring it around to sex, while others don't. That's how I tell, anyway. It usually takes only a few minutes.

But anyway, it is true that it's almost impossible to survive without sex for most people. Personally, I'm ok with it, simply because I prefer waiting for the right person, but I've seen and known many others who would happily find a different partner every week, gay or straight.
__________________
"But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?"

And thus laments the hopeless romantic that is yours truly.

Last edited by Dominic; 04-12-2012 at 08:51 AM.
Dominic is offline   Reply With Quote
nickvl
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
nickvl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 965
  #17 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by solvedrubrik View Post
That was an interesting video. But don't you think it reveals that guys have 'tunnel vision' when it comes to relationships? Like, the only reason they would hang out with the opposite sex is because they are attracted to them. It's kinda, I don't know, sad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synxervious View Post
I was under the impression that you'd post something related to spiders and the animal kingdom. Cause that's really very sad. Black widows bite off the heads of their husbands :S

I watched part 2 as well - And yeah it's true, guys usually don't surround themselves with girls that they're not interested in, just doesn't happen. LOL.
Haha maybe hat's why the girls say they are uncomfortable with their boyfriends being alone with another girl but they are all right being with another guy who's not their boyfriend. It's double standards but if a guy really doesn't hang out with girls they aren't interested in, then I suppose it's justified to feel uncomfortable if one's boyfriend starts hanging out with other girls. And because girls (judging by the video) have different relationship dynamics as guys, no wonder they feel it's okay for them to hang out with other guys.

Last edited by nickvl; 04-12-2012 at 09:00 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
nickvl is offline   Reply With Quote
trenchcoat101 Female
Less Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 63
  #18 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synxervious View Post
Yala, that's the point LOL. How to be in a relationship if you're clueless about each other's feelings? Can't read people's minds lol.
But yeah, I feel the same too, but a lot of girls just have this 'Tang Dynasty era view' of courtship, to quote my friend, so you have people who end up #foreveralone just because they're too afraid to face themselves and admit their feelings cause they always expect the guy to say he likes them first.

But seriously though, if you're a guy and you expect a girl to confess to you, then memang sorry la, odds are, you can wait a lifetime and never see it come to pass @_@



My apologies on behalf of all the stupid y-chromosome owning Martians like myself There's another issue though - If you know someone too well, then there's the risk of the friendzone - They might not even know that you like them until you go like SURPRISE! And they get creeped out cause they didn't know you felt that way.

I think a few months is OK though. I've heard stories of people who got together with people they met within a WEEK of heading to uni, and apparently it's not rare. -.-
When you know someone well enough, and if either the guy or girl wants to move further, they'll definitely show some signs. So... learn to read them. Hahaha, I'm not saying I'm good at looking at signs, but you can try being more observant? XD
__________________
It's what inside that makes a balloon go up, it's what inside you that makes you go up.
trenchcoat101 is offline   Reply With Quote
Synxervious Male
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
Synxervious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 36
  #19 Old 04-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by trenchcoat101 View Post
When you know someone well enough, and if either the guy or girl wants to move further, they'll definitely show some signs. So... learn to read them. Hahaha, I'm not saying I'm good at looking at signs, but you can try being more observant? XD
Showing signs doesn't mean I'm obligated to act right LOL. But it helps to quash hopes before they're born la, it's less cruel that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickvl View Post
That was an interesting video. But don't you think it reveals that guys have 'tunnel vision' when it comes to relationships? Like, the only reason they would hang out with the opposite sex is because they are attracted to them. It's kinda, I don't know, sad?



Haha maybe hat's why the girls say they are uncomfortable with their boyfriends being alone with another girl but they are all right being with another guy who's not their boyfriend. It's double standards but if a guy really doesn't hang out with girls they aren't interested in, then I suppose it's justified to feel uncomfortable if one's boyfriend starts hanging out with other girls. And because girls (judging by the video) have different relationship dynamics as guys, no wonder they feel it's okay for them to hang out with other guys.
Well, obviously the motivations aren't pure, but then isn't it the case that most, if not all societal relationships exist simply because they create value? Don't you choose your friends because they give you happiness, because they add things to your discussions, because they are fun to be around? IMO, choosing say, a female friend just because you're attracted to her isn't really different from that - Definitely no different from say, becoming best mates with a bunch of guys who support Manchester United.

From the POV of a guy: I would feel threatened if the guy paid for the meal and my girlfriend were to see nothing wrong with that, or if she were to go out too often with a guy who isn't me - In most other cases though, sorry la, you're no threat. Go ahead and go out - In the final calculus, she's still mine, not yours, and you can go ahead and walk away with 50 dollars less in your pocket, no less #foreveralone, and my girlfriend presumably slightly fatter LOL.

I'm not the controlling type la, but I like full disclosure when it comes to these things. And definitely no, I wouldn't pay for the meal of a girl that I'm not interested in. Don't make signals you don't intend to follow through with lah.
Synxervious is offline   Reply With Quote
nickvl
ReCom Staff
ReMag Writer
 
nickvl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 965
  #20 Old 05-12-2012 Default Re: Girls confessing to guys.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Synxervious View Post
Showing signs doesn't mean I'm obligated to act right LOL. But it helps to quash hopes before they're born la, it's less cruel that way.



Well, obviously the motivations aren't pure, but then isn't it the case that most, if not all societal relationships exist simply because they create value? Don't you choose your friends because they give you happiness, because they add things to your discussions, because they are fun to be around? IMO, choosing say, a female friend just because you're attracted to her isn't really different from that - Definitely no different from say, becoming best mates with a bunch of guys who support Manchester United.
I don't think it's wrong or anything that guys only hang out with girls whom they are attracted to. I just think that it's just a different relationship dynamic than hanging out with your Man U guy buddies (because you aren't attracted to them; you just like the same stuff). I mean, it looks like there are no such thing as platonic relationships in a guy's point of view while for girls it's entirely possible to hang out with guy friends without the need to be the least attracted romantically to them.

Quote:
From the POV of a guy: I would feel threatened if the guy paid for the meal and my girlfriend were to see nothing wrong with that, or if she were to go out too often with a guy who isn't me - In most other cases though, sorry la, you're no threat. Go ahead and go out - In the final calculus, she's still mine, not yours, and you can go ahead and walk away with 50 dollars less in your pocket, no less #foreveralone, and my girlfriend presumably slightly fatter LOL.

I'm not the controlling type la, but I like full disclosure when it comes to these things. And definitely no, I wouldn't pay for the meal of a girl that I'm not interested in. Don't make signals you don't intend to follow through with lah.
No point of contention there. Frankly if the girl is already in a relationship and allows another guy (who may most likely be attracted to her following the video's theorem ) to pay for her, she's a douchebag because then she's leading him on. I think that no party, guy or girl should ever lead another on if they don't mean for it to be anything more. And yeah, it would be natural to be worried if your girlfriend/boyfriend starts hanging out too often with another particular person.



p/s: I think we've wandered off-topic
nickvl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
dating, relationships

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
ideal girl friend. girls whom guys seek iQing Social and Entertainment Corner 220 27-05-2008 10:49 AM
Girls with short hair, Guys with long hair gabrielle Social and Entertainment Corner 43 16-05-2008 01:34 PM
What do girls look for in guys? Anthony Social and Entertainment Corner 164 03-08-2007 08:58 AM
girls and guys. do they share the same passion in sex ? iQing Social and Entertainment Corner 0 28-11-2006 05:04 PM
differences of guys and girls banshee Psychology 13 23-02-2006 05:24 AM


All times are GMT +8. The time now is 01:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

ReCom stands for Reborn Community. It has no affiliation with other organizations that may share the same name. The views expressed in this website solely represent the authors point of view and do not necessarily reflect the views of ReCom Anchors and other ReCom users.


 

Page generated in 0.13402 seconds with 17 queries